


Spidey Gets a Twitter

by MochaTears



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Author knows jack about both twitter and memes - Freeform, Borderline crack, F/F, F/M, Gwenpool Gwen Stacy and Kate Bishop are here because I love them a lot, I have so much stuff I should be doing that isn’t this, I tagged all the ships I might entertain just to be safe, Infinity War? What’s that?, Irondad, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, SO SORRY, Social Media, That’s a lot of characters god I hate myself for starting this already, Tony Stark Acting as Harley Keener's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Twitter, Wade’s like a year older than Peter, the random accounts are either Peter’s schoolmates or random ppl, uh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2020-10-25 08:02:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 15,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20720861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MochaTears/pseuds/MochaTears
Summary: Piderman @Spidermanayo i finally got twitter!





	1. Spidey Gets a Twitter

**Piderman** @Spiderman

ayo i finally got twitter!

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @Spiderman

I literally just said 'no, don't make a twitter'. Am I a joke to you?

⎸

**Piderman** @Spiderman

uhhhhhhhh yes?

⎸

**Ted** @ChairGuy

F

**Thor!**⚡️⚡️✓ @godofthunder

Replying to @Spiderman

Hello Man of Spiders! I too just got 'Twitter'!

⎸

**Piderman** @Spiderman

hi thor!!!

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

Replying to @Spiderman

good job sticking it to the man lol

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

Replying to @Spiderman

wait is this seriously spiderman??

⎸

**Carol Danvers Can Step On Me** @ironstan

i doubt it,, probs just another fan account

⎸

**Connie**🌈 @gay_rainstorm

but they have the @ ,,,,, someone must have already had that how did they get it

⎸

💫**Riley**💫 @rileyoriley

case closed y’all,,, iron man talked to him its the real thing

➖ ➖ ➖

**Mana Magic** @tearrfull

@Spiderman hey question, how did you actually get the Spiderman handle?? Surely it was already taken??

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

Replying to @tearrfull

ive had it since a bit before i became an active hero actually !

⎸

**Mana Magic** @tearrfull

!! Thank u for responding !! Also congrats on being verified!

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

np & thnx :)

➖ ➖ ➖

**Bucky**✓ @jamesbbarnes

I’ve been on twitter for over a year and Stark still hasn’t followed me back but spidey gets a follow in a day? k

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @jamesbbarnes

You keep hurting my doors you don’t deserve a follow

⎸

**Bucky**✓ @jamesbbarnes

I’m fucking sorry about the handles!

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

Replying to @jamesbbarnes

aww im sorry :( ill follow u back mr barnes

⎸

**Bucky**✓ @jamesbbarnes

Thanks kid.

**It’s Been Three Months!** @thedeadpool

Replying to @jamesbbarnes

same my dude :( starks a meanie

➖ ➖ ➖

**Sam Wilson**✓ @thefalcon

Spidey still calls me the 2nd birdman its insulting

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

Replying to @thefalcon

but ,,, its tru ,,, ur a birdman and i knew hawkeye first

⎸

**Kate Bishop** @theotherhawkeye

does that make me the 1st birdwoman??

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

yes

**Bucky**✓ @jamesbbarnes

Replying to @thefalcon

Haha second birdman

⎸

**Sam Wilson**✓ @thefalcon

You know what? Screw yourself

⎸

**Ant Mant** @sctlang

stop flirting guys

⎸

**Sam Wilson**✓ @thefalcon

Shut up Lang

➖ ➖ ➖

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

daily existential crisis over, whats next on todays schedule?

**Kate Bishop** @theotherhawkeye

Replying to @bubblegumpool

loving ur gf💕

⎸

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

thats all day every day bb i multitask💕💜💕

➖ ➖ ➖

**Captain America**✓ @CaptainAmerica

I had a kid come up to me today and ask if I was ‘the guy from the PSAs’.

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @CaptainAmerica

Hey guy from the PSAs! I’m your biggest fan!

⎸

**Captain America**✓ @CaptainAmerica

Stop laughing at my pain.

⎸

**Clint**✓ @Hawkeye

HAHAHAHA

**Bucky**✓ @jamesbbarnes

Replying to @CaptainAmerica

That’s hilarious

**Peterrr** @radioactivity

Replying to @CaptainAmerica

why would you tell the internet that lol

⎸

**Captain America**✓ @CaptainAmerica

What do you mean?

⎸

**Peterrr** @radioactivity

lol


	2. People Find Out the Avengers are Real Dumb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha✓ @BlackWidowWasTaken  
Replying to @hawkeye  
This is a lie  
⎸  
Clint✓ @hawkeye  
no u

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

clint broke something of mine so yall get this

[ A video of whoever's filming moving quietly across what appears to be the ceiling in a hallway. When they get to a specific point on the ceiling, they bang loudly against it. From within the roof, there's a disgruntled yell, followed by someone crashing out of a ceiling vent. The person behind the camera starts laughing, and lowers the camera to show the thing that fell out of the roof. Hawkeye is glaring back at him. ]

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

Replying to @Spiderman

like this is the first time youve done this

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

guess you should get used to it then?

⎸

**Ashes**💥💥💥 @demolitions

omg best response

**Kitsuneri** @murderfox

Replying to @Spiderman

Thank you for this offering Spidey, pls give us more;;;

➖➖➖

**Kylie May** @hawkeyespls

I am now spideys biggest stan okay he gave us some good ass hawkeye content

**It's Been Three Months!** @thedeadpool

Replying to @hawkeye

false!!!!! i am the biggest spidey fan!!!!!

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

shut ur fuck wade

⎸

**It's Been Three Months!** @thedeadpool

accept my affection bb!!

⎸

**Kylie May** @hawkeyespls

yo what the heck

➖➖➖

**Ant Mant** @sctlang

@CaptainAmerica your friends are the worst idk how you spend time with them

**Captain America**✓ @CaptainAmerica

Replying to @sctlang

What do you mean??

⎸

**Ant Mant** @sctlang

they invite themselves out with me when i decide to get lunch and then spend the whole time flirting

⎸

**Ant Mant** @sctlang

how am i supposed to enjoy my tacos with this shit going on over top of it

⎸

**Captain America**✓ @CaptainAmerica

I'm sorry about that, Scott... you should watch your language, also.

**Sam Wilson**✓ @thefalcon

Replying to @CaptainAmerica and @sctlang

it's not flirting, bucky's a bitch

⎸

**Bucky**✓ @jamesbbarnes

Yes it is, and no I'm not.

➖➖➖

**Morganite** @morgananana

uh,,,, are we gonna talk about how bucky just said he flirts w falcon??

**Mana Magic** @tearrfull

Replying to @morgananana

Stan culture is toxic but damn that is a thing he said,,

Me: I don't ship real ppl

Also me: but WinterFalcon

⎸

**Morganite** @morgananana

if that aint me

**Artemis** @smthingisamiss

Replying to @morgananana

It was probably a joke but mAN

⎸

**Morganite** @morgananana

same

➖➖➖

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

spidey gave nat a cuddly spider toy last month and it lives in her bed now

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

Replying to @hawkeye

dude do u have a death wish????

⎸

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

maybe so

⎸

**Kate Bishop** @theotherhawkeye

clint,,, no,,,,,,

⎸

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

clint yes (:

**Natasha**✓ @BlackWidowWasTaken

Replying to @hawkeye

This is a lie

⎸

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

no u

➖➖➖

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

@Twitter please verify my child @theotherhawkeye she deserves this

**Kate Bishop** @theotherhawkeye

Replying to @hawkeye

awww!!! i dont but ty anyway ur my favourite father figure💜

➖➖➖

**Connie**🌈 @gay_rainstorm

yall reckon we'll get retaliation from @BlackWidowWasTaken

**Natasha**✓ @BlackWidowWasTaken

Replying to @gay_rainstorm

Revenge is inevitable

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

clint is gonna re g re t

⎸

**Connie**🌈 @gay_rainstorm

rip

⎸

**Connie**🌈 @gay_rainstorm

wait heck!!! i love u guys spiders are best

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

luv you too!

➖➖➖

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

i just visited the avengers museum in the tower today! i wanna thank mr stark for making me an exhibit. I also wanna say that im definitely not afraid of spiders, that is a slanderous lie made up by a bored genius

**peterrr** @radioactivity

Replying to @Spiderman

its fake news!

⎸

**It's Been Three Months!** @thedeadpool

i love you

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

Replying to @Spiderman

wait why are u afraid of spiders ur spiderman

⎸

**Cleo** @queenofEgypt

He's not afraid of spiders didn't u read the post??


	3. Some Unexpected Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki dead inside @stabby
> 
> I was mind controlled by a purple alien. That's my 'statement'.

**The Avengers**✓ @AvengersOfficial

It's been a while since anything was posted on this account.

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @AvengersOfficial

thats okay you were just retweeting shit from us before anyway im p sure there was no original thoughts

⎸

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

wait

**Cassidy** @cwooding

Replying to @AvengersOfficial

oh nice! ur back, whoever u are!

⎸

**Butch** @takeflyte

I thought tony stark was running this account??

⎸

**Cassidy** @cwooding

not anymore ig,,, look at that capitalization

➖➖➖

**Thor!**⚡️✓ @godofthunder

My brother is not dead.

**Loki dead inside** @stabby

Replying to @godofthunder

There's no need to sound so upset about it.

⎸

**Thor!**⚡️✓ @godofthunder

I'm not upset, I simply thought it wise to inform the world that you were not dead. You may recall that the last time you were on Midgard, you tried to become their ruler.

⎸

**Loki dead inside** @stabby

It isn't like I actually wanted to do it.

⎸

**Antisocial Science Man**✓ @brucebanner

Thor, this is really something that's usually handled by PR... we do have that.

⎸

**Thor!**⚡️✓ @godofthunder

Ah, I see. That is my bad.

**Val** @valkyriess

Replying to @godofthunder

unfortunately

⎸

**Loki dead inside** @stabby

I'm being attacked

**LOKI LIVES!!!** @disparate

Replying to @godofthunder

omg lokis alive????? ahhh!!!💚🖤

⎸

**Artemis** @smthingisamiss

I will never understand you weird ass murder groupies

➖➖➖

**The Avengers**✓ @AvengersOfficial

As Thor Odinson recently took the time to explain, Loki Odinson is not dead. Nor is he imprisoned any longer, although this is against the recommendations of some parties. Additionally, new information regarding the attack he was involved in which may influence his level of guilt in the situation.

**The Avengers**✓ @AvengersOfficial

Replying to @AvengersOfficial

Obviously, Loki is not a member of the Avengers, and therefore not within my jurisdiction. However, I would advise that he also make a statement on the matter.

⎸

**Loki dead inside **@stabby

Ugh, sounds like a lot of effort.

⎸

**The Avengers**✓ @AvengersOfficial

Don't do it then.

⎸

**Loki dead inside** @stabby

I suppose I should apologise to you.

⎸

**The Avengers**✓ @AvengersOfficial

Ah, so you figured me out? Like I said, I'm aware that your fault is massively overplayed due to the circumstances.

⎸

**Loki dead inside** @stabby

Yes.

**Thor!**⚡️✓ @godofthunder

Ah. I perhaps should have mentioned that.

⎸

**Val** @valkyriess

yeah you perhaps should have.

➖➖➖

**Loki dead inside** @stabby

I was mind controlled by a purple alien. That's my 'statement'.

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

Replying to @stabbt

thats the tea!!!

**Thor!**⚡️✓ @godofthunder

Replying to @stabby

I'm not sure that this is an... effective statement. I'm glad you made one nonetheless.

⎸

**Loki dead inside** @stabby

This is an excellent statement, like everything else I do.

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

Replying to @stabby

yeah imagine being mind controlled

⎸

**Loki dead inside** @stabby

Ah.

**Ashes**💥💥💥 @demolitions

Replying to @stabby

oh so thats why thats trending

➖➖➖

**Jason** @isdeceased

man i wish they let us talk about superhero twitter on the news

**Betty** @bb_brant

Replying to @isdeceased

It's probably better they don't, we'd get nothing important to the school reported on with you two around

⎸

**Chris**🔥 @chr158

excuse!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll probably stop posting these so regularly when I run out of chapters I’ve already written but for now daily-ish posts lol
> 
> Also I just wanted to point out that yes, people who are obsessive fans of people like Loki would be considered the same as people who are in love with serial killers etc in the mcu so,,,


	4. Shit Goes Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carol Danvers can step on me @ironstan  
@theAvengers so like ;; who does run this account though?
> 
>   
Clint✓ @hawkeye  
Replying to @ironstan  
a ghost.

**Kate Bishop** @theotherhawkeye

Clint's still trying to get me verified lol

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

Replying to @theotherhawkeye

yes? what's your point of course i wanna get you verified you deserve it ????

⎸

**Kate Bishop** @theotherhawkeye

Not true >~< but thnx dad

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

Replying to @theotherhawkeye

ofc! u need to b verified bb we all out here tryina get you that blue check

⎸

**Kate Bishop** @theotherhawkeye

Ahh ilysm 💕💕💕 you don't even have the check you deserve it just as much!!

⎸

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

💕💓💗💞💜💜💓💞💗💖💝💜

➖➖➖

**Carol Danvers can step on me** @ironstan

@theAvengers so like ;; who does run this account though?

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

Replying to @ironstan

a ghost.

⎸

**Carol Danvers can step on me** @ironstan

????? what does that mean

**The Avengers**✓ @AvengersOfficial

Replying to @hawkeye and @ironstan

Is that what we're calling it now?

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

@theAvengers @hawkeye guys pls talk

⎸

**The Avengers**✓ @AvengersOfficial

I can't talk to him if he won't let me.

➖➖➖

**The Avengers**✓ @AvengersOfficial

There have been many guesses, and I can confirm that you are all incorrect.

💫**Riley**💫 @rileyoriley

Replying to @theAvengers

why does hawkeye hate u tho

**Morganite** @morgananana

Replying to @theAvengers

i so want the tea on this god

➖➖➖

**Kate Bishop** @theotherhawkeye

@hawkeye please answer your phone stop ignoring us

➖➖➖

**Natasha**✓ @BlackWidowWasTakem

@hawkeye Please talk to someone, even if it's not me.

➖➖➖

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

@hawkeye which dumpster are you sulking in clint ill come get you :(

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

Replying to @Spiderman

thnx

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

dm me dude

➖➖➖

**Peterrr** @radiocativity

i hope this all turns out alright I'm kinda panicking

**Ted** @ChairGuy

Replying to @radioactivity

itll be fine dude, calm down he told you where he is right

⎸

**Peterrr** @radioactivity

yeah im just going to get him now

**Gwanda** @ggstacy

Replying to @radioactivity

I hope it all goes okay

⎸

**Peterrr** @radioactivity

yeah me too

**Cindy** @overthemoon

Replying to @radioactivity

is something going on? are you okay?

⎸

**Peterrr** @radioactivity

yeah im okay, someone im close to is having issues but were trying to find him and fix it thank u for the concern

⎸

**Cindy** @overthemoon

I hope whatever it is resolves itself! lmk if theres anything I can do..

➖➖➖

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

i just don't get how everyone else is fucking okay with this

**Natasha**✓ @BlackWidowWasTaken

Replying to @hawkeye

Clint, we're not. But you have to actually talk to him. It's not him you need to be angry at.

⎸

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

then who

⎸

**Natasha**✓ @BlackWidowWasTaken

Talk to him.

**The Avengers**✓ @AvengersOfficial

Replying to @hawkeye

I don't care if you stay angry at me, just please let me talk to you.

⎸

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

okay.

**Kylie May** @hawkeyespls

Replying to @AvengersOfficial and @hawkeye

yo wtf is going on,,, are y'all okay?????

**Koto**🕊 @whatslife3h

Replying to @AvengersOfficial and @hawkeye

im so confused hh

➖➖➖

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

@radioactivity how the fuck did you end up with tony stark following you

**Call Me MJ** @empathynonexistent

Replying to @fthompson

lol


	5. Peter Fucks Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peterrr @radioactivity  
Replying to @radioactivity  
wait shit  
⎸  
Ted @ChairGuy  
peTER  
⎸  
Call Me MJ @empathynonexistent  
Wow

🕴**Cadence**🕴 @CLXNDXSTINE

so,,, i got bored last night and decided to scroll through the follow list of some of the avengers;; so like i get that celebs follow their friends sometimes but im p sure most of the avengers are following some random kids;;;; thoughts??

**Connie**🌈 @gay_rainstorm

Replying to @CLXNDXSTINE

yeah i noticed tony starks following & occasionally interacts with a couple of teens

⎸

🕴**Cadence**🕴 @CLXNDXSTINE

its probs nothing weird but im super curious

➖➖➖

**Peterrr** @radioactivity

he came to visit meme :)

[ A blurry photo of Hawkeye glaring out of a vent, in the middle of saying something. ]

**Peterrr** @radioactivity

Replying to @radioactivity

wait shit

⎸

**Ted** @ChairGuy

peTER

⎸

**Call Me MJ** @empathynonexistent

Wow

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

Replying to @radioactivity

dumbass

**Jason** @isdeceased

Replying to @radioactivity

YO WHAT

⎸

**Chris**🔥 @chr158

I don't think this picture exists anywhere else wtf

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

Replying to @radioactivity

Parker wtf

➖➖➖

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

my intern is an idiot

**Peterrr** @radioactivity

Replying to @TonyStark

:( im sorry mr stark

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

youre an idiot

➖➖➖

**Peterrr** @radioactivity

i guess i did an oopsie ;;;

**Call Me MJ** @empathynonexistent

Replying to @radioactivity

Nice lol

⎸

**Peterrr** @radioactivity

😭😭😭

**Mana Magic** @tearrfull

Replying to @radioactivity

Who are you,, like seriously,,

⎸

**Peterrr** @radioactivity

no one ;; important

⎸

**Carol Danvers can step on me** @ironstan

clearly a lie fucking iron man talked to you

➖➖➖

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

@radioactivity is a huge dumbass

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @Spiderman

you can say that again

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

@radioactivity is a huge dumbass,,,,,,

⎸

**Peterrr** @radioactivity

this is bullying :(

**Ashes**💥💥💥 @demolitions

Replying to @Spiderman

okay srsly who tf is this peter kid

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

Replying to @Spiderman

wtf

➖➖➖

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

okay,,,, mr stark says i can come clean

yo im peter i intern at si

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @radioactivity

youre my stupidest intern

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactovity

theres no way thats true mr stark

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

please stop calling me mr stark

**Disappointment** @potato_gun

Replying to @radioactivity

You aren't the best intern

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

Harley :( ur mean

**Connie**🌈 @gay_rainstorm

Replying to @radioactivity

does tony stark talk to all his interns

⎸

**Lock @ SI** @LochnessNoire

No.

➖➖➖

**Best Intern uwu **@radioactivity

where did all these ppl come from uhhh

**It's Been Three Months!**✓ @thedeadpool

Replying to @radioactivity

a buncha ppl realised how cool u were

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

:0 when did u get verified??

⎸

**It's Been Three Months!**✓ @thedeadpool

yesterday!!!

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

Congrats !!! <3

**Ted** @ChairGuy

Replying to @radioactivity

u posted a picture of hawkeye then talked to a iron man ofc ppl are following u dude;;;

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

hh

➖➖➖

**Pepper Potts**✓ @ppotts

@TonyStark @radioactivity @BruceBanner Why do I hear explosions?

**Antisocial Science Man**✓ @BruceBanner

Replying to @ppotts

I tried to stop them, I swear.

⎸

**Thor!**⚡️✓ @godofthunder

Bruce, are you alright? That was loud.

⎸

**Antisocial Science Man**✓ @BruceBanner

All good, thanks Thor.

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @ppotts

everythings fine pep

⎸

**Pepper Potts**✓ @ppotts

It better be.

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

Replying to @ppotts

im sorry ms potts i swear its nothing bad

⎸

**Pepper Potts**✓ @ppotts

I'll believe you Pete, but you had better not be lying to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I’m glad y’all are enjoying these! It makes me happy ^u^ I’ll try to stay at least two chapters ahead for a while so that I can keep posting daily. Thanks for reading <3 and thanks to the people who’ve left comments, y’all get an extra <3


	6. Can We Get More Avengers Content?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Best Intern uwu @radioactivity  
Replying to @gay_rainstorm  
i didn't even mean to post the first thing but ill see what i can do ,,

**Kate Bishop** @theotherhawkeye

No, Clints not my actual dad ;;; but i still love him a lot

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

Replying to @theotherhawkeye

what?? im not ur real dad???? why didnt u tell me??

**Mana Magic** @tearrfull

Replying to @theotherhawkeye

How d'you know Hawkeye tho?

⎸

**Kate Bishop** @theotherhawkeye

He was my archery teacher!

⎸

**Ashes**💥💥💥 @demolitions

like ;; u just decided to take archery and he was there?????

⎸

**Kate Bishop** @theotherhawkeye

Yeah sure that

⎸

**Mana Magic** @tearrfull

Disbelief;;;

➖➖➖

**Connie**🌈 @gay_rainstorm

hey @radioactivity do you maybe have anymore avengers content u can share??

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

Replying to @gay_rainstorm

i didn't even mean to post the first thing but ill see what i can do ,,

⎸

**Connie**🌈 @gay_rainstorm

thnx dude

➖➖➖

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

i was asked to post more avengers content so heres a thing ,,

[ A video; it opens in what is clearly the kitchen, as the Winter Soldier makes his way to the fridge. He looks half asleep, and his hair is tied in a loose bun. He pulls on the handle of the fridge, and it falls off. There's a beat of silence, as the Winter Soldier slowly looks down at the handle on the floor with an uncomprehending look, and then the person behind the camera starts laughing, and someone further away from the camera yells, "That's the fifth handle this month, Barnes!" ]

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

Replying to @radioactivity

dw i asked if i could post this

⎸

**Bucky**✓ @jamesbbarnes

You didn't ask me

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

no i did! i was like can i post a funny video of u my followers asked

and u were like sure kid do what u want

⎸

**Bucky**✓ @jamesbbarnes

I don't remember that

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @radioactivity

the amount of times ive had to replace handles

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

Replying to @radioactivity

omg this is the best is this why iron dude is always complaining about his door handles

**Connie**🌈 @gay_rainstorm

Replying to @radioactivity

tysm i love it

**Carol Danvers Can Step On Me** @ironstan

Replying to @radioactivity

HFUGIUFYDOJ

🕴**Cadence**🕴 @CLXNDXSTINE

Replying to @radioactivity

oh heck this is gr8

➖➖➖

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

all the comments on my most recent tweets are about just getting a fridge without a door handle. you guys dont understand. its not just the fridge, its all my doors.

[ Four photographs of four different doors in Stark Tower, all missing their handles. ]

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @TonyStark

this isnt even all of them!!! this is just all the other ones hes pulled off this month!

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

do you know how much dread i live with, just waiting for the next handle alert?

’mr barnes has removed the handle of the bathroom in his living quarters.’

not again! i cry! another poor handle, lost to this terrible man!

⎸

**Bucky**✓ @jamesbbarnes

Listen, I said I was sorry

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

sorry doesnt bring them back, buck!

⎸

**Bucky**✓ @jamesbbarnes

Dramatic much?

**Carol Danvers can step on me **@IronStan

Replying to @TonyStark

handle alert,,

➖➖➖

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

its been a weird week lol

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

Replying to @fthompson

is that my fault? try my week lmao

⎸

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

listen im sorry for being such a dick dude

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

its,,,, fine ig,,,,, it wasnt exactly a believable thing;;; ig,,,,,,,,,,,

**Ted** @ChairGuy

Replying to @fthompson and @radioactivity

dont apologise over twitter coward


	7. Peter’s Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Best Intern uwu @radioactivity  
its my birthday! weird,, i dont feel any older lol

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

@DocStrange pls let us in

**Doctor Stephen Strange**✓ @DocStrange

Replying to @radioactivity

I'm busy right now, you'll have to come back later.

⎸

**Loki Dead Inside** @stabby

Lol what did I say?

➖➖➖

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

mr dr strange let us in!!! :D

➖➖➖

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

im really the best intern pls verify meee

**Disappointment** @potato_gun

Replying to @radioactivity

Youre still not

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

:(

**It's Been Three Months!**✓ @thedeadpool

Replying to @radioactivity

rip

➖➖➖

**Doctor Stephen Strange**✓ @DocStrange

"Wait, you're a real doctor?"

I've known this child for half a year, and he didn't know this until today.

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

Replying to @DocStrange

,,,,,, im sorry mr dr strange

⎸

**Loki Dead Inside** @stabby

Do you use as many titles as possible on purpose to annoy whoever you're talking to?

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

u caught me

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

except for w mr stark ,,, mr stark annoys him enough without adding anything to it

➖➖➖

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

so close ,,,,,, to finishing school ,,,,,,,,,, hype

**Ted** @ChairGuy

Replying to @radioactivity

same dude

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactovity

i cant believe we graduating so soon!!!

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

Replying to @radioactivity

youve been jittery all month im surprised it took you this long to tweet smthn like this

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

lmao

**Meg** @megrater

Replying to @radioactivity

congrats!!

➖➖➖

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

big announcement soon!

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

Replying to @TonyStark

wait which one???

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

idk yet

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

,,,,,, mr stark

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

the other one then

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

aww

⎸

**Mana Magic** @tearrfull

Cryptic

**Carol Danvers can step on me** @ironstan

oooh hype!!!

➖➖➖

**It's Been Three Months!**✓ @thedeadpool

@radioactivity happy birthday petey bb!!!

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

Replying to @thedeadpool

ahh thank u ily ❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️

➖➖➖

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

happy birthday @radioactivity . youve made it through another year kid, congrats.

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

Replying to @TonyStark

hhhh tysm mr stark!!!!!!! it means a lot

⎸

**Call Me MJ** @empathynonexistent

Still?

➖➖➖

**Captain America**✓ @CaptainAmerica

Happy birthday Peter, I hope this next year is as good to you as the last one was. @radioactivity

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

Replying to @CaptainAmerica

thank u captain rogers!!!!!!!

➖➖➖

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

yo peter im surprised ur still alive! youre my favourite lil dumbass! @radioactivity

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

Replying to @hawkeye

haha thanks u uncle clint ur my favourite dumbass too

➖➖➖

**Ted** @ChairGuy

todays @radioactivity 's birthday! hope its a good one. hope ur enjoying ur day without ur best friend.

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

Replying to @ChairGuy

hhh thank u ned,, u kno im coming to see u and mj later shut

➖➖➖

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

its my birthday! weird,, i dont feel any older lol

**Yeet**✓ @princessofwakanda

Replying to @radioactivity

happy birthday pete

**Call Me MJ** @empathynonexistent

Replying to @radioactivity

hbd dude hope ur having fun without us

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

not u too :(

**Antisocial Science Man**✓ @BruceBanner

Replying to @radioactivity

Happy birthday Peter :)

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

Replying to @radioactivity

hbd parker

➖➖➖

**Marley** @liddelspoon

heres the facts: peter parker called hawkeye uncle

are they related??? he calls all the other avengers by titles & their last names except thor

💫**Riley**💫 @rileyoriley

Replying to @liddelspoon

maybe they are or like ;;; didnt he say he calls them mr & ms & stuff cause it annoys them? could be just it doesnt annoy hawkeye

**Koto**🕊 @whatslife3h

Replying to @liddkespoon

isnt it a bit weird to be like ,, theorising about this? isnt he a child

⎸

**Marley** @liddelspoon

idk he just had a birthday,,, stop judging me!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like,,, idk if I said before , but most of the chapters I have currently were written p out of order;; this was the third one I wrote, and it was spidey’s birthday at the time. It is not anymore. Rip.  
Y’all reckon Tony would get Peter verification for his birthday?


	8. Spidey Gets Visitors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Piderman✓ @Spiderman  
youre overrated  
⎸  
Yeet✓ @princessofwakanda  
YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

im so hype!!! Captain Danvers is gonna be coming to earth to visit soon!! ive only met her once but shes so!!! cool!!!

**Yeet**✓ @princessofwakanda

Replying to @Spiderman

you never get this excited when i visit

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

i got over thinking you were cool after the first time we hung out

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

youre overrated

⎸

**Yeet**✓ @princessofwakanda

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

nah

**Carol Danvers can step on me** @ironstan

Replying to @Spiderman

god pls give us some captain marvel content im starving

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

;)

➖➖➖

**Happy H.** @unhappy

@TonyStark please come and get your child.

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @unhappy

where is he

⎸

**Happy H. **@unhappy

Asleep in the back seat of my car.

➖➖➖

**Sam Wilson**✓ @thefalcon

I hate my s/o

**Bucky**✓ @jamesbbarnes

Replying to @thefalcon

So do I!

⎸

**Sam Wilson**✓ @thefalcon

Fuck u

➖➖➖

**Jcuvivi** @JayClod

lol imagine being hawkeye and being so much worse than the rest of the avengers

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

Replying to @JayClod

lol imagine being you and having the worst take

⎸

**Kate Bishop** @theotherhawkeye

@JayClod i have an arrow with your name on it :)

**Kylie May** @hawkeyespls

Replying to @JayClod

excuse me you useless flapjack?? what have you ever done to stop a world ending threat that means you can judge hawkeye bc im pretty sure the answer is jack shit

➖➖➖

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

lmao hi ill take constructive criticism whats wrong w me

**AC** @PCoulson

Replying to @hawkeye

Literally nothing.

⎸

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

<3

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

Replying to @hawkeye

UR THE BEST UNCLE CLINT

⎸

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

no u

⎸

**Kate Bishop** @theotherhawkeye

no u!!!

**Kate Bishop** @theotherhawkeye

Replying to @hawkeye

theres nothing wrong w u dad

⎸

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

h

➖➖➖

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

in this house we love and respect @hawkeye i wont hesitate with the block button

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

Replying to @radioactivity

rt

⎸

**Kate Bishop** @theotherhawkeye

rt!!!!

➖➖➖

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

@theotherhawkeye 's entire feed is just her retweeting peter's tweet about me now... i love my daughter a whole lot can yall just please go follow her

➖➖➖

**Kylie May loves Hawkeye** @hawkeyepls

i feel like hawkeye's just having a really bad week i wish i could help :((

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

Replying to @hawkeyepls

thanks for all the nice comments

⎸

**Kylie May loves Hawkeye** @hawkeyepls

!!!! ofc youre the actual best!!!! thank u for being such an amazing person

**Connie**🌈 @gay_rainstorm

Replying to @hawkeyepls

me too

➖➖➖

**Natasha**✓ @BlackWidowWasTaken

I'm planning a murder.

➖➖➖

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

[ Selfie of Peter and both Hawkeyes, all grinning and holding up peace signs. ]

**Yeet**✓ @princessofwakanda

Replying to @radioactivity

yall gucci?

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

we gucci!! u still visiting this weekend??

⎸

**Yeet**✓ @princessofwakanda

what do u care

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

Replying to @radioactivity

what is ur life parker

⎸

**Ted** @ChairGuy

is it even parker anymore

⎸

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

what does that mean

⎸

**Call Me MJ** @empathynonexistent

lol

➖➖➖

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

[ Four pictures; the first is a selfie of Spider-Man and Captain Marvel. The second also includes the princess of Wakanda. The third is a photo of Captain Marvel mid-flight, Spider-Man clinging to her back. The fourth is of Captain Marvel posing with her hands on her hips, looking like she's trying not to laugh. ]

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

Replying to @Spiderman

almost the makings of the best weekend ever...

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

@godofthunder @stabby @valkyriess come overrrrr

⎸

**Loki Dead Inside** @stabby

I'm on house arrest.

⎸

**Val** @valkyriess

no youre not dont lie

⎸

**Loki Dead Inside **@stabby

Self Imposed house arrest.

⎸

**Thor!**⚡️✓ @godofthunder

We will certainly join you, Man of Spiders! I have missed you, and also Bruce!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! I didn’t post for two days! I’m really sorry >~< I’ve been busyyy


	9. Petey Forgot Spidey :(

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Piderman✓ @Spiderman  
peter didnt invite me to his birthday party :(
> 
> Best Intern uwu @radioactivity  
Replying to @Spiderman  
oh oops my bad,,, i thought i was forgetting smthn

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

peter didnt invite me to his birthday party :(

**Yeet**✓ @princessofwakanda

Replying to @Spiderman

lol who would

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

you at least i thought!

⎸

**Yeet**✓ @princessofwakanda

nah

**Best Intern uwu **@radioactivity

Replying to @Spiderman

oh oops my bad,,, i thought i was forgetting smthn

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

do i mean so little to u!!!!

➖➖➖

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

hes having a tantrum now but im trying to work tell him to go awaaaayyy

[ A photo of Spider-Man, sitting on top of what's presumably Peter's work bench, arms crossed. He seems to have pushed whatever Peter was working on out of the way to make space for himself. ]

**Sam Wilson**✓ @thefalcon

Replying to @radioactivity

@Spiderman i thought you were a spider not a cat

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

shut ur fuck

**Ted** @ChairGuy

Replying to @radioactivity

every time you complain about an avenger i die a bit inside

➖➖➖

**Wanda**✨✨ @scarlet_witch

hello twitter!! peter, spider-man and clint all teamed up on me, so i have a twitter now :)

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

Replying to @scarlet_witch

eyyyy its my favourite witch!!!!

⎸

**Wanda**✨✨ @scarlet_witch

my favourite high schooler!

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactovity

>:0 !!!

➖➖➖

**Avengers Official**✓ @AvengersOfficial

Scarlet Witch has joined Twitter: @scarlet_witch

**Artemis** @smthingisamiss

Replying to @AvengersOfficial

Oh shit!!!

**Connie**🌈 @gay_rainstorm

Replying to @AvengersOfficial

yay!!! can we get vision toooooo

➖➖➖

**Yeet**✓ @princessofwakanda

if this tweet gets 50k retweets ill force my brother to get twitter

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

Replying to @princessofwakanda

someday we'll get everyone on here

⎸

**Yeet**✓ @princessofwakanda

baby steps

➖➖➖

**Kate Bishop** @theotherhawkeye

@bubblegumpool luvin you hours 💕💕

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

Replying to @theotherhawkeye

aww ily💜💕!! ur normally asleep by now are u okay??

⎸

**Kate Bishop** @theotherhawkeye

no lol

⎸

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

!! ill be over in five 💕

➖➖➖

**Carol Danvers can step on me** @ironstan

yall ever worry about superheroes mental health?? like some of them are kids too ;;

**Connie**🌈 @gay_rainstorm

Replying to @ironstan

yeah :( and i wonder if the hate they get online ever gets to them too.. i hope not too bad

⎸

**Carol Danvers can step on me** @ironstan

god yeah ppl are so fuckin ungrateful i swear like these ppl save lives and ppl out here like 'but hawkeyes a normal human and hes not even a hot lady' like that matters or fuckin ironman antis they can go screw themselves >:T

**Ashes**💥💥💥 @demolitions

Replying to @ironstan

theres a lot of them and most of them dont seem to work solo so i hope they at least all have a good support system

⎸

**Carol Danvers can step on me** @ironstan

yeah tru

➖➖➖

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

what if: avengers vlog

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

Replying to @Spiderman

im gonna repurpose my youtube

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

no.

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

when do i listen to you tho,,,

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

whats with you today kid

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

also if i didnt do it then peter would

**Ted** @ChairGuy

Replying to @Spiderman

oh please;;

➖➖➖

**Caroline**🎶 @xanxibar

conspiracy theory;; spiderman is tony starks kid

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

Replying to @xanxibar

wild theory

⎸

**Caroline**🎶 @xanxibar

uh ;;;;; so u look up ur own name then;;;;

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

lolol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so.. yes, this was supposed to go up after 7 but it’s after 8 instead. I haven’t been naming the last few chapters in document, so I confused myself a bit. Oh well. It doesn’t make too much difference I don’t think, so I hope it’s okay anyway ^^;  
Here’s a question: do you guys want this to keep being random shit I think of off the top of my head, or would you prefer a plot to develop? I don’t mind either way but I wanna write what you guys want ow=


	10. Identity Reveal!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You Know Who I Am✓ @TonyStark  
random kids on the internet call me tony all the time, but my own intern who i see everyday still calls me mr stark... what is this?

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

random kids on the internet call me tony all the time, but my own intern who i see everyday still calls me mr stark... what is this?

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

Replying to @TonyStark

calling u by ur first name would b weird;;

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

and mr stark isnt weird?!

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

no!! its what ive always called u!

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

okay thats it

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

wha

➖➖➖

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

fun announcement in an hour!!!!

**Pepper Potts**✓ @ppotts

Replying to @TonyStark

Tony, please think this through.

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

i cant take this anymore!!!

⎸

**Pepper Potts**✓ @ppotts

Stop being over dramatic.

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

look you have an hour to convince me

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

Replying to @TonyStark

mr stark pls,,,

➖➖➖

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

mr stark is not good for my anxiety :(

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @radioactivity

right back at you kid

**Nadia** @earthisalibra

Replying to @radioactivity

does the announcement have smthn to do with u???

➖➖➖

**Mana Magic** @tearrfull

So like,, is @Spiderman a kid? Cause I feel like all his friends who aren't the Avengers are??? And it'd be sorta weird if he wasn't ...

**Webby**🕸🕸 @spidermans

Replying to @tearrfull

heck tru,, but i dont think a kid should b doing what he does ;;;

➖➖➖

**It's Been Three Months!**✓ @thedeadpool

@TonyStark why wont u follow me back :(

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @thedeadpool

you dont deserve it

⎸

**It's Been Three Months!**✓ @thedeadpool

harsh!

⎸

**It's Been Three Months!**✓ @thedeadpool

youre just mad ive known spidey for longer

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

blocked

➖➖➖

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

my dad and my bf are antagonising each other again ugh

**It's Been Three Months!**✓ @thedeadpool

Replying to @radioactivity

its just so easy

**Salty**🧂 @bluebirdie

Replying to @radioactivity

not to be,, That Bitch™️ but like,,, since when did u have a dad??

⎸

**Cindy** @overthemoon

sally! u cant just ask ppl stuff like that!!

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

uh,,, shit,,,,

**Call Me MJ** @empathynonexistent

Replying to @radioactivity

nice one pete

⎸

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

rly living up to ur handle huh :,(

**Murphy's Law** @piewhisperer

Replying to @radioactivity

am i the only one surprised peter's got a boyfriend??

⎸

**Mercedes**🧚🏽‍♀️ @terrifiedheart

legit not the business of strangers on the internet dude???

⎸

**Murphy's Law** @piewhisperer

im literally in some of his classes???

➖➖➖

**Carol Danvers can step on me** @IronStan

yo wtf just happened??

➖➖➖

**Ashes**💥💥💥 @demolitions

i think even the theorists who guessed this weren't expecting the truth,,

➖➖➖

**CNN**✓ @CNN

In a seemingly spur of the moment move, Tony Stark called a press conference in order to announce both his son and his marriage.

**A Man Duh** @nosharing

Replying to @CNN

I SLEPT THRIUGH THE LIVE STREAM FUVIBI I MISSED THIS!!! UGH😭😭😭

**Kylie May loves Hawkeye** @hawkeyepls

Replying to @CNN

i cant believe ppl are already giving criticism ha... also,,, man they make an attractive family;;;

**STONY IS CANON!!!! **@Quisps

Replying to @CNN

STONY IS CANON!!!!!!💖💗💞❣️💖🖤💛🧡🧡💜💞💖💛🧡❤️💙💙🧡🧡❤️💗💓

➖➖➖

**BuzzFeed**✓ @BuzzFeed

You have to check this out: 13 things to know about Peter Stark.

➖➖➖

**Best Intern uwu** @radioactivity

yo im peter im tony starks kid,,,,, ha ha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;; I hope this doesn’t make my twitter fic too generic :( I feel like everyone does the Peter Reveal at some point lmao


	11. The YouTubes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Piderman✓ @Spiderman  
;)  
[ A link to video on the Spiderman YouTube channel, titled Avengers Vlog! (1?) ]

**Best Son uwu** @radioactivity

uhhhh why is my name this???

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @radioactivity

no reason

⎸

**Best Son uwu** @radioactivity

but im ur only son

⎸

**Best Son uwu** @radioactivity

unless ur counting harley.

⎸

**Disappointment** @potato_gun

no.

➖➖➖

**Captain America**✓ @CaptainAmerica

@radioactivity Where are all the towels?

**Best Son uwu** @radioactivity

Replying to @CaptainAmerica

uhhhhhh haha

⎸

**Captain America**✓ @CaptainAmerica

Pete, where are all our towels?

⎸

**Best Son uwu** @radioactivity

YOULL NEVER FIND ME

⎸

**Captain America**✓ @CaptainAmerica

Pete!

➖➖➖

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

@CaptainAmerica i think i found ur towels

[ A video filmed inside the vents; it begins on one side of the person filming, showing a bunch of towels wedged together to form a barrier, then pans to the other direction to show the same thing. ]

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

Replying to @hawkeye

theyre all wet and idk how far back they go but,,, im stuck,,,,,,

⎸

**Captain America**✓ @CaptainAmerica

Apologies Clint, I'll come and let you out ASAP.

⎸

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

thnx steve

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

Replying to @hawkeye

i once trapped someone in their room for a day bc i got annoyed that they kept leaving their wet towels lying around

⎸

**Kate Bishop** @theotherhawkeye

i remember that haha

⎸

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

me too,, i thought youd done this at first

⎸

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

its not ur wet towels u leave lying around lol

⎸

**Clint** @hawkeye

what

➖➖➖

**Connie**🌈 @gay_rainstorm

omg i just realised tony starks kid has been calling him mr stark this whole time

**Ashes**💥💥💥 @demolitions

Replying to @gay_rainstorm

its kinda hilarious lol,,, thats why he got so angery,,

➖➖➖

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

;)

[ A link to video on the Spiderman YouTube channel, titled _Avengers Vlog! (1?)_ ]

**Webby** @spiderducker

Replying to @Spiderman

im so excited omg

**Carol Danvers can step on me **@ironstan

Replying to @Spiderman

oh heck!!! spidey followed through!!!

**Mana Magic** @tearrfull

Replying to @Spiderman

Thank u for this blessing <3

➖➖➖

The video opens on a black screen, "Oh, hey Nat!" someone says into the blackness.

"What're you looking for?" asks a feminine voice, presumably Nat, amusement clear in her tone.

"I started recording then put my camera down and now I can't find it." complains the first voice, "I'm filming a YouTube video because Mr. Stark told me not to."

Nat outright laughs at this, "have you tried the vents?" she asks, "Clint might have decided to execute his revenge – it is his turn, isn't it?"

The male voice makes a sound of confirmation, and then there's shuffling coming towards the camera. There's the sound of metal opening and light becomes visible off camera. After some quiet feeling around, the camera is retrieved and comes face to face with none other than Spider-Man.

"Hey guys! I'm Spider-Man and this is the Avengers Vlog, as promised!" He quickly turns the camera, and it lands on Black Widow, "And this is Nat!" The redhead waves at the camera, smiling past it at Spidey.

"Hello." she offers the camera, "I came to let you know breakfast is happening, Паучок." She turns to leave without waiting for an answer.

Spider-Man hurries after her, and the shot cuts to one of the kitchen. It seems to have been set down on a counter, in view of the table that some of the Avengers are sitting at in various states of wakefulness.

"Are we really doing this, Spidey?" Asks Tony Stark, from where he sits, apparently using the table to sit up straight.

"It's good to humanise you all a little; show the general public that you're all people too." Spider-Man explains logically, to which Stark responds with a groan.

Steve sets a plate of pancakes in front of Spidey and pressing his palm to his husbands back, smiling affectionately, "The kid's got a point, Tony."

"I know..." Tony whines, leaning back to rest his head against Steve's stomach, eyes closed, "I hate it when the kids have good ideas." Spider-Man snickers at the admission, before lifting his mask up slightly and digging into his pancakes.

Also occupying the table, are Natasha Romanov, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, and Wanda Maximoff.

There's quiet chatter at the table, mostly between Wanda, Spidey, and Sam, before Wanda asks, "where's Peter, by the way." Tony let's out an overly dramatic groan, eliciting a laugh from Spider-Man.

"He's with Wade." Spidey explains, "he'll be back later, but I dunno if he wants to be filmed."

Clint walks in as Wanda's about to respond, and sits down in between Spider-Man and Sam, "I see you found your camera, Spidey?" The teen nods, punching him lightly in the shoulder.

"Pancakes." Steve announces, placing a plate in front of Clint, who thanks him excitedly. "Is Kate coming down for breakfast?"

"Nah..." Clint replies, mouth already full, much to Steve's clear distaste, "Gwennie's taking her out for breakfast. Dunno why, it's too early for that." He shakes his head, and shovels another bite of pancake into his mouth.

Steve sits down himself after a few minutes, setting his plate down next to his husband and kissing said billionaire on the side of the head. Tony hums, and takes another bite if pancake as if the kiss was a reminder to eat.

The video cuts again, this time so that it's facing a television, on an angle so that the couch in front of the TV is easily visible. Clint and Sam both sit on it, holding Switch controllers. Bucky's sat on the floor in front of Sam, resting against the other man's legs, looking half asleep.

"Handicap," Clint demands, as Spider-Man turns to face him.

"Aight," the younger hero concedes easily, and disappears off camera. He appears, lowering from the ceiling, in moments, "I'll play upside down," the spider proclaims.

Two games pass, both of which Spider-Man manages to win, despite being upside down. It's looking like Spidey's going to win the third game, too, when the camera is quietly lifted from where it has been sitting and taken out of the room.

The camera exchanged hands down the hall, although the shot makes it hard to distinguish who either person is.

"Thanks, aunt Nat," makes it obvious who the thief is, but the voice speaking is unfamiliar.

There's another cut, and then the camera lifts to point at a suited up Deadpool. The nineteen year old waves enthusiastically, "why are you filming me?" he asks.

There's a snort, "Spidey's doing a vlog, remember? So I decided to steal his camera while he was distracted and we can do our own segment! Oh!" the camera turns to face a t-shirt with a terrible pun on the front, the face of the recorder purposefully obscured, "hi! I'm Peter Stark, you might have heard of me! And... my boyfriend, Wade!" The camera spins back to a still waving Deadpool.

"What're we gonna do until Spidey finds us out?" Wade asks. Peter hums thoughtfully.

"Wanna find Loki?" he suggests, a grin in his voice. Wade nods.

The video cuts again, the yell of, "Uncle Loki!" is what begins the clip, the camera facing said Asgardian. The god has only a moment to turn, before Peter is running down the hall at full tilt, and launching himself at Loki.

"Peter!" comes the alarmed response as the video goes dark for a moment. It seems to be buried in Loki's coat.

"I saw you yesterday." Loki admonishes, as Peter leans back and the camera shows the god's face.

The teen moves away a bit, "we're filming a bit for Spidey's vlog thing, you wanna say hi?" Loki gives him a look, before sighing.

"Alright then," he concedes, "hello, people of Midgard."

"Again, but with feeling!" Deadpool days from behind Peter, and Loki rolls his eyes.

"Peter! Give that back!" Comes a yell from down the hall. It sounds like Spider-Man. Peter lets out a surprised chirp of laughter, shoving the camera at Deadpool. His boyfriend accepts without hesitation, and the younger teen charges off in the opposite direction of Spidey's voice, his giggles disappearing with him around the corner.

Loki gives Wade a strange look, "I'm not getting involved," he says calmly, and then disappears in a shimmer of green.

"DP, give me back my camera," Spidey's voice is flat, as the camera pans to face him.

"What camera?" Wade asks innocently. There's a beat of disapproving silence, before the merc chuckles and hands the camera back to its owner.

A final cut, back to the kitchen. Only Spider-Man's in shot, but there sounds to be someone else pottering around somewhere further in. It appears to be nighttime now, the curtains are drawn and the lights are on.

"I hope you've all had fun with this snippet of our lives, and on your adventure with Stark Junior. I know it's not much, but this is just a tester video; to see how it's received. Fingers crossed for a part two! Bye-bye from your Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man!"

As the video closes, an the end screen follows. It's a blue background featuring only the link to Spider-Man's channel. The music in the background sounds like a group of teens, singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for leaving you guys high and dry for a week!!! I hope the extra long chapter makes up for it!
> 
> Tell me how you like the end, since it’s a little different. There’s a little Russian there; it’s supposedly generic ‘little spider’ but idk if I got it right...


	12. Morgan?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disappointment @potato_gun  
Replying to @radioactivity  
never give the phone back  
⎸  
Yeet✓ @princessofwakanda  
seconded  
⎸  
Best Son uwu @radioactivity  
papas making me :(

**Jayson** @itsjasoneborne

of all the people to copycat, why deadpool? hes a homicidal maniac who kills indiscriminately. hes not a hero.

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

Replying to @itsjasoneborne

are u talking about me? cause im not a deadpool copycat, first of all and second of all, he isnt a homicidal maniac. he hasnt killed anyone in almost four months!!

⎸

**Jayson** @itsjasoneborne

youre clearly a DP copycat. youve based your outfit occupation and persona off of him. youre only going off what he claims on his social media its all for public image. theres no way hes actually given up murder. you dont know him, youre just some fangirl who wants attention.

⎸

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

im literally not?? my name is gwen poole, and i didnt design my costume myself so there was a misunderstanding when i wrote my name down?? my personality is my fucking own thanks,,, and also u know jack shit about me. i didnt even like wade before i met him

⎸

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

i actually live w him rn tho, so i think i actually do know him??? and im basing my opinion of him off actual fact and not the desire to hate a guy i dont know. ur just salty cause hes dating peter stark and ur not. dont think i cant look through ur thirst tweets bitch

⎸

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

fuck i love swearing im so glad i didnt emd up in comics or id be censored

⎸

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

wait,,, id be censored in movies too,,,, is this like,,, a fanfiction???

➖➖➖

**Best Son uwu** @radioactivity

peteys working with daddy right now so im here to tell you guys that hes the bestest!!! peteys way smarter than daddy and way cooler too!!!!!! you guys bettr be being nice to him >:(

**Captain America**✓ @CaptainAmerica

Replying to @radioactivity

Morgan?

⎸

**Best Son uwu** @radioactivity

yea???

⎸

**Captain America**✓ @CaptainAmerica

It's not nice to take other people's things, even if you want to be nice to them. Give Pete his phone back.

⎸

**Best Son uwu** @radioactivity

fineeeeee

**It's Been Three Months!**✓ @thedeadpool

Replying to @radioactivity

preach it kiddo!!!!!

⎸

**Best Son uwu** @radioactivity

hehe

**Karen** @Karen_AI

Replying to @radioactivity

Peter has just noticed the absence of his phone. He would like it back, but wants me to let you know that he loves you too and you're not in trouble.

⎸

**Best Son uwu** @radioactivity

he told on me???? >:(

**Disappointment** @potato_gun

Replying to @radioactivity

never give the phone back

⎸

**Yeet**✓ @princessofwakanda

seconded

⎸

**Best Son uwu** @radioactivity

papas making me :(

⎸

**Yeet**✓ @princessofwakanda

aww

➖➖➖

**Avengers News** @threee

Someone, who appears to be a child, has briefly taken over Peter Stark's twitter in order to complement him. All we know about them is that they responded to the name 'Morgan'. Who are they?

[ A screenshot of the thread involving Captain America. ]

**Carol Danvers can step on me** @ironstan

Replying to @threee

neither of them are avengers tho so why u talkin about this

**Spidey-Fan** @idkhowuknow

Replying to @threee

uhhh what if tony stark has two kids,,,, uhhh

➖➖➖

**Best Son uwu** @radioactivity

hey, i have my phone back, sorry about that!

**Ted** @ChairGuy

Replying to @radioactivity

now u have no excuse not to respond to me text

⎸

**Best Son uwu** @radioactivity

sorryyyy i didnt see it ;;;

**Disappointment** @potato_gun

Replying to @radioactivity

morgans weak she shoulda kept it

⎸

**Best Son uwu** @radioactivity

shut it harley i will protect her with my life, if that means teaching u to be nice i wont hesitate

⎸

**Disappointment** @potato_gun

jk jk sorry

⎸

**Best Son uwu** @radioactivity

now whos weak uwu

**It's Been Three Months!**✓ @thedeadpool

Replying to @radioactivity

its not like we didnt all agree with everything she said <3

⎸

**Best Son uwu** @radioactivity

ew affection

**Connie**🌈 @gay_rainstorm

Replying to @radioactivity

BUT WHO IS SHE??

**Spidey-Fan** @idkhowuknow

Replying to @radioactivity

is she ur sister

➖➖➖

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

@TonyStark how does it feel that dps allowed in the kitchen and ur not?

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @Spiderman

its only for three weeks!

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

but thats 3 weeks longer than wades been banned from the kitchen for

**It's Been Three Months!**✓ @thedeadpool

Replying to @Spiderman

oh em gee what did he do??

⎸

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

im all for saying it like that but please never type out omg like that

**Loki Dead Inside** @stabby

Replying to @Spiderpool

Ah, so you've all finally come to your senses? What did he do, set the toaster on fire?

⎸

**Natasha**✓ @BlackWidowWasTaken

No, that was Clint.

⎸

**Clint**✓ @Hawkeye

shut!!!

➖➖➖

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

he blew up the coffee machine. hes also on decaf for a month. pepper confiscated the one in his lab too,, its replacing the one he blew up

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @Spiderman

stop exposing me you insolent child

⎸

**Piderman**✓ @Spiderman

no


	13. Officially the Best Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You Know Who I Am✓ @TonyStark  
Replying to @radioactivity  
youre my only son  
⎸  
Best Son uwu✓ @radioactivity  
>:( thats my line

**I can't hear u :0** @ayeayecap

english sub told me to take out my "airpods" today......

i told her they were hearing aids.........

nope, take out ur airpods............

okay...............

she asked me a question and i couldn't hear her and she got mad lol

fuck u lady

**I can't hear u :0** @ayeayecap

Replying to @ayeayecap

man i got detention for doing what i was tolddd

⎸

**whoa tea** @manley314

what bullshite-

**Kate Bi-shop** @theotherhawkeye

Replying to @ayeayecap

@hawkeye :6

⎸

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

stop tagging me in posts that will annoy meeeee??

i hate that this is an issue people who work with kids have

⎸

**I can't hear u :0** @ayeayecap

oh shit!! uh dont worry hawkeye!! its just that one sub for me;; all my other teachers have been a ok

⎸

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

thats good.. still damn annoying though.

⎸

**Seymour** @hearditbefore

yo why does this stuff make u so mad?? :00

⎸

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

im deaf.

⎸

**I can't hear u :0** @ayeayecap

!!!!!!!!!

➖➖➖

**Clint✓ ** @hawkeye

did you guys not know this???

**Clint****✓ ** @hawkeye

Replying to @ayeayecap and @hearditbefore

im deaf.

**Clint**✓ **** @hawkeye

Replying to @hawkeye

i guess i havent mentioned it lmao

**Maybe it's Mabel?** @searchingforstars

Replying to @hawkeye

oh !! stan !!

**Kylie May loves Hawkeye(s)** @hawkeyepls

Replying to @hawkeye

I did not know this! omg!

➖➖➖

**It's Been Three Months!**✓ **** @thedeadpool

it been four months!!!!

**Best Son uwu**✓ **** @radioactivity

Replying to @thedeadpool

bb im so proud!!! ❤️❤️🖤🖤💕

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ **** @radioactivity

wait

⎸

**It's Been Three Months!**✓ **** @thedeadpool

OMG PETEY!!! YOU GOT A TICK!!!

➖➖➖

**Best Son uwu**✓ **** @radioactivity

i got a blue check mark yall.... im officially the best son™️

**You Know Who I Am**✓ **** @TonyStark

Replying to @radioactivity

youre my only son

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ **** @radioactivity

>:( thats my line

➖➖➖

**CMO of the Starship Disappointing my Parents** @doctorphloxx

@BlackWidowWasTaken hey I wanted to prove a point to my friend: do you get sent on as many missions as your male coworkers?

**Natasha**✓ **** @BlackWidowWasTaken

Replying to @doctorphloxx

Yes. What's the point you're trying to prove, out of curiosity?

⎸

**CMO of the Starship Disappointing my Parents **@doctorphloxx

omg thank you!!! my point is that no one would be stupid enough to disrespect you by sending you out less cause you're a woman.

⎸

**Natasha**✓ **** @BlackWidowWasTaken

Ah.

➖➖➖

**Piderman**✓ **** @Spiderman

thors friends are visiting earth for the second time! wao! they only stayed a little while last time and i never got to meet them..... hype

**Yeet**✓ **** @PrincessofWakanda

Replying to @Spiderman

oh shit! you mean the ones thor accidentally made on his way here rite

⎸

**Piderman**✓ **** @Spiderman

yeah!

⎸

**Yeet**✓ **** @PrincessofWakanda

@radioactivity @bubblegumpool @thedeadpool ok so heres the plan. meet them. give them phones. show them twitter. profit.

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ **** @radioactivity

do u make phones in ur spare time or am i suggesting mr stark should give them phones

⎸

**Yeet**✓ **** @PrincessofWakanda

yeah good idea do that

⎸

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

when r they supposed to b here by??

⎸

**Piderman**✓ **** @Spiderman

monday! early

⎸

**It's Been Four Months!**✓ ****@thedeadpool

can gwennie & me stay at the tower on sunday thenn

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ **** @radioactivity

ye

➖➖➖

**Colonel Rhodes**✓ **** @WarMachine

I swear, these two.

[ A photo of Tony Stark and a teenager with their face blacked out, both asleep at a work bench. ]

**Pepper Potts**✓ **** @ppotts

Replying to @WarMachine

At least they're getting sleep.

**Captain America**✓ **** @CaptainAmerica

Replying to @WarMachine

That looks uncomfortable...

**Sam Wilson**✓ **** @thefalcon

Replying to @WarMachine

put together they almost make a functioning human being


	14. That Talking Squirrel is Cute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bi-derman✓ @Spiderman  
thor wanted to introduce his friends, but he says hes forgotten his twitter password, so im delivering instead. figured id just put it on yt tho

**The Bi-derman**✓ @Spiderman

@theotherhawkeye am i doing it right

**Kate Bi-shop** @theotherhawkeye

Replying to @Spiderman

ye 👍

** Mercedes **🧚🏽 @terrifiedheart

Replying to @Spiderman

is this,,, spiderman coming out??

⎸

** Wanda **✨✨✓ @scarlet_witch

He said he was going to shout it from the rooftops after he came out to us, but it was the tower rooftop, so it was too high for anyone to hear.

➖➖➖

**Avengers News** @threee

Spider-Man comes out as bisexual? Scarlet Witch confirms it in replies.

[ A screenshot of said thread. ]

**It's simple stonks** @Quisps

Replying to @threee

this isn't news,,, but you're doing gods work so carry on ig

➖➖➖

** Bi-derman **✓ @Spiderman

thor wanted to introduce his friends, but he says hes forgotten his twitter password, so im delivering instead. figured id just put it on yt tho

[ A link to a video on the Spiderman YouTube channel titled _Avengers Vlog 2: Aliens are visiting us👽👽_ ]

**NaNoKillMe** @block64_46

Replying to @Spiderman

Petition to get Thor back his twitter lol

➖➖➖

"Hello, Midgardians!" Thor cries, and text flashes up on screen apologising for how loud he is, "I have invited my friends the 'Guardians of the Galaxy' down to a late breakfast, as they require the extra time to 'synch up' with Midgard time."

"American time," the person filming points out, making it clear that said person is likely Spider-Man.

"Ah, yes, American time, you're quite right Man of Spiders. Anyway, this also means that everyone else has already eaten, or will not wake up until lunch time-." There's grumbling at this, from Spider-Man, about wanting to sleep in himself. Thor ignores it, "So I can introduce them to you more easily, without interruption," he concludes.

As if on cue, a door opens somewhere off camera, and Spider-Man moves to face it. A brunet man wearing a loose, black T-shirt and red boxers has entered the room. He looks half asleep, but doesn't fail to notice the camera being pointed at him. Before he can question it, Thor's at his side.

"This is Lord of Stars!" Thor says, "the leader of the Guardians of this Galaxy."

"Don't you forget it," the man replies, before addressing the camera, "It's actually just Star-Lord. Name's Peter Quill, though. Why are you filming me."

"Thor wants to introduce his current favourite non-family people to the world," Spider-Man replies with little inflection.

"Move," grunts a feminine voice from behind Quill, and then there's a woman with blue skin in the room with them. Compared to Star-Lord, she really looks like what you'd imagine an alien does. She's in a tank top and tracksuit pants, exposing much of her upper body to be made up of what looks like cybernetics. Quill rolls his eyes at her aggression, and Thor remains unfazed.

"This is Nebula," he grins, and she nods coolly before walking to the table that Spider-Man is sitting at and settling at it. Star-Lord shrugs and does the same, leaving an empty chair between them, whilst Thor hovers near the door impatiently.

"Are we going to eat?" Nebula asks. It's unclear if she's talking to anyone specifically, as she's glaring at the bare table.

"All in good time," Thor says, and her glare turns on him. The door opens and two distinctly inhuman figures enter the room. The first looks very much like a humanoid tree, whilst the second is much smaller and clearly a raccoon walking on two legs.

"Groot," Thor says, gesturing to the humanoid tree. The tree person looks up from its game for a second to look at Thor, and then at the camera.

"I am Groot," it comments disinterestedly, looking back down at its game.

"No, you don't," the raccoon - talking raccoon - replies, "this is introductions, yeah? I'm Rocket." He pats Thor on the leg as he walks past, leading the dispassionate tree to the table. Groot sits down next to Spider-Man, and Rocket jumps up beside him. The spider hero is forced to adjust the camera in order to fit the two into frame.

Pretty soon after Rocket and Groot, two more women enter the room. The first is a green skinned woman, with purple hair. She's wearing a slightly oversized T-shirt, and sweatpants. The second is a paler woman with dark hair. She also has antennae. She's wearing a fluffy, green dressing gown that is too big for her.

Thor gestures to the two as he introduced them, "Gamora, Nebula's sister, and Mantis." Gamora gives the camera a raised eyebrow and a nod, whilst Mantis smiles.

"My sister." Quill adds nonchalantly, off camera. Mantis blinks in surprise, but no one comments as the two join the group at the table. Gamora sits between Quill and her sister, whilst Mantis sits on Quill's other side.

When the apparent final member of the group appears - apologising for being late - and is introduced as Drax, the whole group is sitting at the table. Thor's spot is beside Spider-Man, and Drax on his other side. The god hasn't taken a seat, yet, though. Instead, he's huddling around setting food down in front of the group.

Aside from the obviously alien appearance of the newly introduced house guests, what follows is a fairly similar domestic scene to what was displayed in _Avengers Vlog! (1?)_.

Most of the rest of the vlog is just that; snippets of interesting conversation to endear the latest heroes to be introduced to planet Earth.

At one point, Groot mutters something at the game console that no one has been able to get out of his hands (not for lack of trying, so it seems). Everyone at the table turns to look at him for a brief moment, before Rocket asks, outraged, "Where did you learn that kind of language?" And nobody's able to hold in their laughter. The raccoon had been using vulgar language only minutes before.

The last five minutes of the vlog feature the same group, sans Thor and sporting the new addition of Princess Shuri of Wakanda. Spider-Man and Shuri are teaching the Guardians how to use their newly acquired phones. Quill already has Twitter downloaded.

The end screen is the same as the last video, with the same outro music dubbed the 'Spider-Man Theme' by fans. The video description also holds the links to social media accounts for each of the Guardians.

➖➖➖

** Queen of the Unicorns **

I'm so in love with Mantis already it's not even funny. I've only had this empath for 13 minutes and 38 seconds but if anything happened to her I'd kill everyone in this comments section and then myself.

** Lila Tyler **

thors so enthusiastic to intro his friends and its fucking adorable!!!

** Trixie **

"i could be sleeping until lunch but no... film a video for me spiderman" i feel u spidey

** wafflespice7 **

aww the talking squirel is sooooo cute!!!!!!!!

**YamaD4**

dude thats a raccoon what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey, an update! Look at that! Hope you enjoy ^^ that’s all I have to say today...


	15. Aliens Using Twitter for the First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rocket Raccoon @whatsaraccoon  
Seriously. What's a raccoon??

**The Avengers**✓ @AvengerOfficial

As you may have heard from Spider-Man, a group of non-terrestrials who are friends of Thor's, and go by the Guardians of the Galaxy have recently arrived on Earth.

**The Avengers**✓ @AvengersOfficial

Replying to @AvengersOfficial

As seems to happen, the children have given them Twitter:

@Quillofstars

@Gamora

@DraxtheDestroyer

@whatsaraccoon

@iamgroot

@space_bug

@nebulae

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

we arent children!! >:(

➖➖➖

**Rocket Raccoon** @whatsaraccoon

Seriously. What's a raccoon??

**Bi-derman**✓ @Spiderman

Replying to @whatsaraccoon

[ Four pictures of raccoons. ]

⎸

**Rocket Raccoon** @whatsaraccoon

What! That looks nothing like me!

⎸

**I am Groot** @iamgroot

I am Groot...

⎸

**Rocket Raccoon** @whatsaraccoon

No it doesn't!!

**Nadia** @earthisalibra

Replying to @whatisaraccoon

this is so surreal.

➖➖➖

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

something tells me im going to regret letting more people stay in my tower.

**Mantis!** @space_bug

Replying to @TonyStark

are you talking about us?

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

dont listen to him hes a big meanie

⎸

**I don't want to be here** @nebulae

Groot did break a television

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

he did what?!

⎸

**Mantis!** @space_bug

please don't be angry at him

➖➖➖

**Caroline**🎶 @xanxibar

@hawkeye do you spend a lot of time ,,, in the vents??

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

Replying to @xanxibar

i spend a healthy amount of time in the vents

⎸

**AC** @PCoulson

He spends far too much time in the vents. Thankfully, he's stopped sleeping up there quite so often after Peter's prank on him.

⎸

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

dont expose me like this! i thought you loved me!

⎸

**AC** @PCoulson

That doesn't mean I should let you lie to your fans.

⎸

**Caroline**🎶 @xanxibar

was not honestly expecting a response.

➖➖➖

**Antisocial Science Man**✓ @BruceBanner

I apologise for not being very active online! Tony told me I should start tweeting more, but I really don't have that much to say...

**Val** @Valkyriess

Replying to @BruceBanner

i just told you to get some rest bruce. im not gonna let you die on my watch thor would be very displeased.

⎸

**Antisocial Science Man**✓ @BruceBanner

I'm not going to die if I don't sleep for another hour. I've gone longer without sleep.

⎸

**Loki Dead Inside** @stabby

You, of all people, should understand the merits of 'healthy sleeping'.

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

sure, when its other people. hes much worse at taking care of himself,, like me..

⎸

**Antisocial Science Man**✓ @BruceBanner

Not you too, Loki.

⎸

**Loki Dead Inside** @stabby

Listen, we're all afraid of my brother when it comes to you.

⎸

**Val** @Valkyriess

thats it, im calling him.

**Cariad** @pikachoosewisely

Replying to @BruceBanner and @Valkyriess

its nice to hear from u dr banner but pls sleep???

**Maybe it's Mabel** @searchingforstars

Replying to @BruceBanner @Valkyriess and 2 others

is this calling in the big guns... lol

⎸

**Gaia** @19981102

have we established whether or not dr banner & thor are dating???

⎸

**Maybe it's Mabel** @searchingforstars

uhhhhhh idk?? i thought it was just wishful thinking but this thread makes me 🤔🤔

➖➖➖

**Thor!**⚡️✓ @godofthunder

He is asleep.

[ A photo of Bruce Banner asleep in bed, the photographer standing over him. ]

**Mana Magic** @tearrfull

Replying to @godofthunder

I'm glad!

**NaNoKillMe** @block64_46

Replying to @godofthunder

You got your Twitter back!! Also I hope he sleeps well!!!

➖➖➖

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

tonight is not a good night™️

**Kate Bi-shop** @theotherhawkeye

Replying to @hawkeye

whats up dad??

⎸

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

i know hes alive now but every time i close my eyes hes bleeding out and its my fault. its not loki there its me and i killed him.

⎸

**Kate Bi-shop** @theotherhawkeye

@PCoulson fuck your meeting youre closer than i am

⎸

**AC** @PCoulson

I'll be home ASAP, Clint.

**Jcuvivi** @JayClod

Replying to @hawkeye and @theotherhawkeye

does hawkeye is gay?

⎸

**Kylie May loves Hawkeye(s)** @hawkeyepls

not the fucking time, asshole.

➖➖➖

**Bi-derman**✓ @Spiderman

does anyone know this dude or can i keep him??

[ A selfie of Spider-Man, holding a calico kitten in his arms. He's very clearly grinning widely under the mask. ]

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @Spiderman

please stop bringing home strays..

⎸

**Disappointment** @potato_gun

youre one to talk

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

keener!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m gonna sleep after I post this, but tomorrow I plan to edit some of the earlier chapters bc there are a lotta dumb mistakes! I have the next chapter finished too so I might even post that tomorrow too... who knows...


	16. Tony Stark Being Soft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ned @ChairGuy  
Replying to @TonyStark  
oh so this is why petes crying

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

im not usually this open on social media, but my son is important to me and i want everyone to know it. media field day or whatever, i guess.

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @TonyStark

so today is the third anniversary of me officially adopting him, and i just want to tell you all about how great he is. hes one of the brightest kids ive ever met, and one of the bravest, and one of the most caring. in fact, scratch kids. people in general

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

i think he thinks sometimes that i only adopted him because of his intelligence, but thats not true at all. i love him so much because of who he is, not because of how good he is at science and math. the moment i met him, hed already wormed his way into my heart

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

i think everyone saw the adoption coming a mile away except him and me

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

this kid deserved so much better than the life he got stuck with, but it meant that i got to meet him, so i hope he doesnt regret it too much

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

peter, i love you so, so much. i hope you always remember that.

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

Replying to @TonyStark

god dad why would u do this w no warning u kno im an ugly crier

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

Replying to @TonyStark

now im a mess in the middle of class

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

i do this shit because i care

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

i dont regret anything i could never regret meeting you dad!

⎸

**Steve Rogers-Stark**✓ @CaptainAmerica

I love both of you a whole lot. You're both blessings I never thought I'd have. This is very sweet and I wish I could see you both right now.

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

heck ilysm pops!!! when i get home im giving u both huge hugs!! also!!!!!!!! ur display name!!!!!!

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

stevie you changed it!!!!!!!

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

fuck this meeting im coming home

⎸

**Steve Rogers-Stark**✓ @CaptainAmerica

No, you're not Tony. Behave yourself. I'll see you in an hour.

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

ugh fine... why do you have to be so responsible

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactovity

one of us has to be and as were told many a time its not either of us

**Ned** @ChairGuy

Replying to @TonyStark

oh so this is why petes crying

**Wanda**✨✨✓ @scarlet_witch

Replying to @TonyStark

Aww!!!

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

Replying to @TonyStark and @radioactivity

3 years

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

haha;;; ye

⎸

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

as in. since the start of high school

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

oh yeah around then i guess

⎸

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

holy fuck

⎸

**Call Me MJ** @empathynonexistent

lol

➖➖➖

**Hanana** @lifeisamess

why have people just now started obsessing over peter starks bf

**I met Peter Stark once and it was great** @vanillabitch

bc everyone suddenly realised hes dating fucking deadpool??? whos super dangerous???

⎸

**Hanana** @lifeisamess

wouldnt iron man have fucked him up by now if he was dangerous to kid stark?? i mean its not exactly a secret since the whole internet knows about it by now

⎸

**Blow me** @akissmylove

isnt deadpool like a bunch older than peter??? kinda weeeiiird if u ask me . like

⎸

**Hanana** @lifeisamess

thats conjecture theres literally no info on his actual age. we dont even know what he looks like! or kid starks age! u cant accuse a guy of that shit w no proof dude

➖➖➖

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

dudes. im 18, wades 19. yall can chill. i appreciate the concern but all is gucci.

**It's Been Four Months!**✓ @thedeadpool

ily petey!!

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

❤️

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

Replying to @radioactivity

ty for saying smthn i wanted to but that wld be unfair & spoilers 😭😭

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

lol no problem ;;; spoilers??

➖➖➖

**It's Been Four Months!**✓ @thedeadpool

whats this? iron mans finally following me? when did this happen???

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @thedeadpool

i was ganged up on

**Bucky**✓ @jamesebbarnes

Replying to @thedeadpool

I don't understand what I've done..

⎸

**It's Been Four Months!**✓ @thedeadpool

rip dude


	17. Some Weird Squidward Looking Dude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny Long @longtimenosee  
y'all wtf is happening there's a fucking spaceship over New York???
> 
> Ada @blackwidowisagoddess  
Replying to @longtimenosee  
Dan u say that like it's the first time

**Ned** @ChairGuy

@TonyStark hey mr stark with all due respect where the fuck is peter

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @ChairGuy

working on it kid

⎸

**Ned** @ChairGuy

working on what where is he??

⎸

**Yeet**✓ @princessofwakanda

ill dm u guys

➖➖➖

**Ned** @ChairGuy

this is such bullshit

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @ChairGuy

whatever you do stay where you are, you guys are in danger too yknow

⎸

**Ned** @ChairGuy

yeah i figured cos like??? everyone is??? is that happy

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

yes. if anything happens, get to him as quickly as possible.

⎸

**Ned** @ChairGuy

fuck dude! define anything!

⎸

**Steve Rogers-Stark**✓ @CaptainAmerica

Seriously son, be careful. We'll have Pete back in no time.

➖➖➖

**Danny Long** @longtimenosee

y'all wtf is happening there's a fucking spaceship over New York???

**Ada** @blackwidowisagoddess

Replying to @longtimenosee

Dan u say that like it's the first time

⎸

**Danny Long** @longtimenosee

dont act like this is normal!! thats what they want!

➖➖➖

**Salty**🧂 @bluebirdie

@ChairGuy is chatting w tony stark like its normal wtf

**Ned** @ChairGuy

Replying to @bluebirdie

yeah i wouldnt be if my best friend wasnt on a fucking spaceship stfu sally

⎸

**Ned** @ChairGuy

sorry that was rude im stressed

⎸

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

why is parker on the spaceship

⎸

**Ned** @ChairGuy

uhh

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

confidential.

➖➖➖

**Ned** @ChairGuy

fucking great mr starks not responding anymore

**Bucky**✓ @jamesbbarnes

Replying to @ChairGuy

We're running on the assumption that they never got off

⎸

**Ned** @ChairGuy

sorry what?!?!??!

⎸

**Bucky**✓ @jamesebbarnes

Hang in there kid

➖➖➖

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

so just to be clear parker somehow got from the bus to the alien ship and now the ship is gone and he's still on it

**Ned** @ChairGuy

Replying to @fthompson

thats about it yeah

⎸

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

wtf

**Call Me MJ** @empathynonexistent

Replying to @fthompson

*stark actually

⎸

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

shut up jones!

➖➖➖

**Joel** @Prior1999

the winter soldier said 'they' were on the ship ??? whos they???

**Ada** @blackwidowisagoddess

Replying to @Prior1999

Sounds like we might be down a hero or two too

➖➖➖

**Loki Dead Inside** @stabby

To be honest, I was hoping we wouldn't have to deal with this.

**AC** @PCoulson

Replying to @stabby

I'm sorry, you knew this might happen and didn't say anything?

⎸

**Loki Dead Inside** @stabby

I wasn't the only one!

**Thor!**⚡️⚡️✓ @godofthunder

Replying to @stabby

Brother! Where are you?! Please join us.

⎸

**Loki Dead Inside** @stabby

Okay, whatever. Is Strange with you?

⎸

**Thor!**⚡️⚡️✓ @godofthunder

He was on the ship. The Guardians are in pursuit.

➖➖➖

**Gamora** @Gamora

I dislike being left behind.

🌟🌟🌟 @universaltruths_

Replying to @Gamora

why were u left behind?????

⎸

**Gamora** @Gamora

I'm in possession of info that would greatly hinder our chances if our enemy got ahold of it. It made sense for me to remain here, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

⎸

**Rocket Raccoon** @whatsaraccoon

Don't worry, Groot and I ended up staying behind too!

⎸

**Rocket Raccoon** @whatsaraccoon

Oh never mind, Thor needs help with something offworld!

⎸

**Thor!**⚡️⚡️✓ @godofthunder

You should join us, Lady Gamora! It would be an honour!

⎸

**Gamora** @Gamora

Yeah?

⎸

**Thor!**⚡️⚡️✓ @godofthunder

Yes!

⎸

**Gamora** @Gamora

Okay, sure, why not.

➖➖➖

**Avengers News** @threee

Okay, so there's a spaceship in the sky over NYC. Some shit's boutta go down. So here's what imma do. Imma live tweet this shit for all you guys not around. I live nearby so I have pretty much front row seats to whatever's about to happen.

[ A short video of the ship over New York. ]

**Avengers News** @threee

Replying to @threee

Okay I'm out on the street right now. It's sorta a wreck honestly. But I just saw Spiderman swing by so he's here!

⎸

**Avengers News** @threee

Guys Iron Man just slammed through a building right by me! I'm following him!

⎸

**Avengers News** @threee

He's fighting some big dude! I think it's an alien? Probably? Here!

[ Shaky footage of Iron Man fighting Cull Obsidian, clearly filmed from behind a bush. ]

⎸

**Avengers News** @threee

Spidey just got here! Wait no! Now he's chasing after Doctor Strange (???) and some weird Squidward looking dude. Captain America just arrived along with Wong! Wong sent big dude through a portal!

⎸

**Avengers News** @threee

Ew!

[ Video of Cull Obsidian's arm being severed by the closing portal. ]

⎸

**Avengers News** @threee

Okay Iron Man and Cap have gone after Spidey I think? I'm gonna try to follow them.

⎸

**Avengers News** @threee

They went up... sorry guys I can't fly so this is all I can get you...

⎸

**Avengers News** @threee

Went back through streets where they were all fighting. Here's some footage.

[ Video of the carnage left behind by the battle between the heroes and the unknown aliens. ]

**Danny Long** @longtimenosee

Replying to @threee

wtf dude!!!! get outta there u'll get hurt!

⎸

**Avengers News** @threee

Nah, I'm fine man.

**Joel** @Prior1999

Replying to @threee

so when the winter soldier said they he probs meant cap, stark, & maybe spidey and dr strange? but why is starks kid up there too

**Burgundy sucks** @unilaterallythinking

Replying to @threee

i wonder whats up w dr banner,, the hulk wasnt fighting he was just sorta standing there

**I was there** @qqiteinteresting

Replying to @threee

Where are the rest of the Avengers?? From what Thor says it seems like they're all meeting up?

**H** @h

Replying to @threee

peter starks apparently on the ship but do yall think the other stark kid is okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does this count as a cliff hanger?  
Anyway, it’s time for Infinity War. Except it’s extremely not cannon compliant don’t worry. Thanos only has two stones right now instead of four so yay? Maybe?


	18. Big Purple Thumb Guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers pls make contact @redwoodtreeee  
Replying to @scarlet_witch  
they lived bitch!!!!!!

**Wednesday** @itsthattime

the avengers have all been pretty silent on twitter for the last few days im kinda worried

**Wednesday** @itsthattime

Replying to @itsthattime

i mean! everythings calmed down in ny right ?? but nobodys said anything since,,, do u guys think theyre doing okay??

⎸

**Ashes** 💥💥💥 @demolitions

oh!! @LochnessNoire !! do u got any tea??

⎸

**Lock @ SI** @LochnessNoire

... Tea? As far as I'm aware, Doctor Stark has not returned from his impromptu trip to space. Stark the Junior hasn't been around the Intern floor since then either.

⎸

**Wednesday** @itsthattime

😢😢😭😭😭

⎸

**Lock @SI** @LochnessNoire

What.

➖➖➖

**The Avengers**✓ @TheAvengers

An update on the current situation: The group who began an attack on Earth four days ago have been neutralised. The Avengers and allies are currently still split up, however, and are working on regrouping. I'm not at liberty to disclose any further information to the public at this time.

**The Avengers**✓ @TheAvengers

Replying to @TheAvengers

To be clear, the planet is safe thanks to our heroes.

**Idk how to stand** @Quisps

Replying to @TheAvengers

ok but are they all like,,, alive?

🕴**Cadence**🕴 @CLXNDXSTINE

Replying to @TheAvengers

oh heck I'm so glad

**A Man Duh** @nosharing

Replying to @TheAvengers

nek minute,,, but half of them died rip ,,,,,, pls nobody b dead im too attached to these superheroes😰

➖➖➖

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

hey guys! uh. im safe yall!!!! its rly surreal how many ppl were worried about me,, thank u guys!!!! i know a lot of ppl were confused and scared about why i was on that ship in the first place, and i cant rly talk about it,,,, but dad and pops made sure i was in a safe place once the fighting started!

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

Replying to @radioactivity

im sorry,, this is a shit 'statement', ik,,,,

⎸

**Disappointment** @potato_gun

dude shut up that was fine

**It's Been Four Months!**✓ @thedeadpool

Replying to @radioactivity

im never letting u out of my sight again bb boy!!!

**Call Me MJ** @empathynonexistent

Replying to @radioactivity

hey update us properly when you have the time, yeah?

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

yeppers!

**Ned** @ChairGuy

Replying to @radioactivity

its been weird not having u around :(

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

same! miss u dude!

**Cindy** @overthemoon

Replying to @radioactivity

I'm so glad you're safe! When I heard you were on that ship I was really worried!

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

Replying to @radioactivity

its good to hear from u parker

⎸

**Call Me MJ** @empathynonexistent

*stark

➖➖➖

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

so i think the internet has done a pretty good job of piecing together most of what happened during the last few days, but i guess ill clarify a little. at least on my end

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @TonyStark

so. the spaceship. turns out some big purple guy called thanos wanted something from earth. specifically, something doc strange, vision and loki had. he sent his minions to collect, hence the ship. so the 2 in ny were there for the doc, and managed to get him onboard their ship

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

myself, cap and spidey followed and defeated them onboard, and ended up on another planet and most of the guardians followed us. at that point, we had a confrontation with thanos. while we didnt all come out unscathed, we defeated big purple thumb guy and everyone's alive

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

kay, thats all i got for you guys! hope it suffices! im going back to sleep now xx hubbys getting mad

**Steve Rogers-Stark**✓ @CaptainAmerica

Replying to @TonyStark

Tones, please get some rest, you're still recovering.

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

yeah yeah, im going back to sleep now

**Idk how to stand** @Quisps

Replying to @CaptainAmerica and @TonyStark

recovering?? is he okay???

**Cassidy** @cwooding

Replying to @TonyStark

what about the other avengers??

➖➖➖

**Bi-derman**✓ @Spiderman

retweeted mr starks thread but just letting u guys know im all good! one of the other avengers who stayed on earth will update on what happened here at some point! sorry if we seem a bit all over the place, its cause we are😅 but dw! weve sustained some injuries but nobodys dead!

**webby** @spiderducker

Replying to @Spiderman

thank god!!! im so glad ur okay!!! ur not one of the ones injured tho right????

⎸

**Bi-derman**✓ @Spiderman

a few scratches and bruises etc! but nothing bad!!

⎸

**webby** @spiderducker

phew... 😭😭😭

⎸

**Spidey-Fan** @idkhowuknow

bleh thank fuck we were worried!!

**Flash**⚡️⚡️ @fthompson

Replying to @Spiderman

glad ur alive man!!

➖➖➖

**It's Been Four Months!**✓ @thedeadpool

im stressed depressed and still worried that im gonna wake up and discover I've been having a good dream and my boyfriend actually died on an alien planet without me!

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

Replying to @thedeadpool

fuck wade imma b over there in five ok. im here,,, im not dead.

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

Replying to @thedeadpool

oh hey join the club..

➖➖➖

**Kate Bi-shop** @theothedhawkeye

its been a stressful week! im so ready to sleep for a month! but clint got himself hurt so im playing nursemaid while phils busy with cleanup...

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

Replying to @theotherhawkeye

u need an assist bb? house is empty bc wade went back w pete and never returned im boreddd

⎸

**Kate Bi-shop** @theotherhawkeye

haha! we could actually do with a restock if you dont mind? i havent had a chance to go shopping yet and clints being a baby

⎸

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

sure thing <3! dm ur shopping list!!

**Kylie May loves Hawkeye(s)** @hawkeyepls

Replying to @theotherhawkeye

is he okay?? are you okay???

⎸

**Kate Bi-shop** @theotherhawkeye

im okay!!! hell be fine, dont worry;; he doesnt really want me to talk about it though i hope you understand ^w^ tysm for your concern though!!

⎸

**Kylie May loves Hawkeye(s)** @hawkeyepls

of course!!!! Im just glad youre both alive! tell him I said hope he gets better💕💕💜💜💕💗💓💚💜💖💕

➖➖➖

**Wanda**✨✨✓ @scarlet_witch

it has been a busy week, as you may know! this is the first time i've had to really check twitter, i hope you'll all forgive me... it doesn't seem that anyone else has posted any updates on what happened to those of us who remained on earth yet. i'm sure you're all quite curious

**Wanda**✨✨✓ @scarlet_witch

Replying to @scarlet_witch

i was actually visiting wakanda with vis as the time that both of the enemy ships arrived on earth. because of that, the second ship targeted wakanda... i still feel so bad about being the cause of that! after the ship that attacked ny left before anyone else could get onboard,

⎸

**Wanda**✨✨✓ @scarlet_witch

the guardians left earth to follow the first ship, and the rest of the heroes on-world converged on wakanda to help our efforts there. it seemed like the two leaders of that group knew a lot about who they were attacking, because they brought a large army of alien creatures not

⎸

**Wanda**✨✨✓ @scarlet_witch

present in ny. thor left with the remaining three guardians to create a new weapon in order to fight our enemies, whilst the rest of us fought. vis and loki stayed towards the backlines, though, because they both possessed what our foes were looking for.

⎸

**Wanda**✨✨✓ @scarlet_witch

i think thats about it? we defeated the enemy, obviously, and lived to tell the tale ^^

**Caroline**🎶 @xanxibar

Replying to @scarlet_witch

whoa heck yall fought against a straight up army and won??

⎸

**Nadia** @earthisalibra

remember they had an army too tho, they were in wakanda,,

**Avengers pls make contact** @redwoodtreeee

Replying to @scarlet_witch

they lived bitch!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really sorry for not updating in a while!!! I’m hoping to get something out for Christmas too, so fingers crossed! Also, I hope this wasn’t too lacklustre of a conclusion to the IW set up of the last chapter... I’m trying to keep this whole thing only social media, so I tried to balance how much they’d share with like... learning what happened??
> 
> Oh! I feel like I should mention here: a couple of the recurring random Twitter users are actually references some of my OCs! Lock @ SI aka Lachlan Noire is one of those references. Hope y’all don’t mind I’ve done that; it’s rly just for me so feel free to ignore ^w^
> 
> Sorry for long note!!


	19. Christmas With The Avengers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Best Son uwu✓ @radioactivity  
merry christmas everyone!!! what did u guys get??

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

merry christmas everyone!!! what did u guys get??

**It's Been Five Months!**✓ @thedeadpool

Replying to @radioactivity

an empty apartment :,(

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

oh shut, i know for a fact gwen gave u her present before she left this morning. now get over here ur supposed to have lunch with us

**Steve Rogers-Stark**✓ @CaptainAmerica

Replying to @radioactivity

Merry Christmas Pete. Spending time with you guys today is honestly the best thing I could have hoped for. :)

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

awww pops!!! u liked the present i got u tho too, right??? i worked hard on it!

⎸

**Steve Rogers-Stark**✓ @CaptainAmerica

Of course, I love it!

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @radioactivity

the sleep in was great... thanks for watching morgan for us.

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

lol

**Nat**✓ @BlackWidowWasTaken

Replying to @radioactivity

Merry Christmas, Паучок.

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

❤️❤️❤️

**Antisocial Science Man**✓ @BruceBanner

Replying to @radioactivity

Happy Christmas!

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

💚💚💚

**Carol Danvers can step on me** @Ironstan

Replying to @radioactivity

awe man all i wanted for Christmas was captain marvel :(

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

,,,, will captain danvers content do??

⎸

**Carol Danvers can step on me** @Ironstan

yes!!!!!

➖➖➖

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

christmas with the avengers, a thread:

[ Four photographs. The first shows a huge, beautifully decorated Christmas tree, a small mountain of presents piled messily below it. The second focuses on Steve Rogers-Stark, with a small girl sitting in his lap. The girl's face is blacked out, and she seems to be in the process of unwrapping a present. Tony Rogers-Stark stands off to the side looking at his husband and, presumably, daughter adoringly.

The third features more than just the Rogers-Stark family. The other four original Avengers, as well as Falcon, the Winter Soldier, a man with his face blacked out, and Pepper Potts, all appear to have arrived. The gift exchange seems to still be going with the new additions; most people watching Black Widow open a gift wrapped in Spider-Man paper. The seating arrangements in this particular room seems to form a circle, made up of four couches and two arm chairs. Peter sits on the first arm chair, whilst the man with the blacked out face is sitting in the armchair across from Peter, with Hawkeye perched half on the arm of it and half in the man's lap. To Peter's left, his parents sit on the end of the couch closest to him, and his aunts sit on his right. Currently, Bruce and Thor take up the right, far couch, with Sam and Bucky to the left. Bucky looks about ready to fall asleep, and Sam's giving him a concerned look. The fourth picture shows about the same layout, except that Wanda and Vision have joined Black Widow and Pepper on their couch, and Wanda is opening a present. The picture seems to have been captured as a pillow sails across the room. It's origin point is clearly Clint, going by the manic grin and the raised arm. It's recipient appears about to be Falcon, who isn't paying attention. ]

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

Replying to @radioactivity

[ Another set of four images. The first reveals Loki and Spidey have joined Thor and Bruce's couch. Despite the mask making it hard to see what expression he's making, something about Spidey seems to communicate that he's not particularly comfortable with the amount of presents that have been piled onto his lap.

The third picture is just a selfie of Peter, still with his face blacked out, and Deadpool, wearing a Santa hat. Gwenpool and Kate Bishop are crouched in the background making silly faces at the camera. In the fourth picture, Gwen and Kate are sittingwith Bucky and Sam. The Guardians of the Galaxy have also arrived, along with Captain Marvel, Valkyrie, and Doctor Strange. Spidey's moved out of the way, and Valkyrie is now sitting in between Thor and his brother. There's not enough room on the couches for all of the new additions to sit down, quite clearly. Nebula and Mantis have both sat down on Tony and Steve's couch, while everyone else is standing or sitting on the floor. ]

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

[ Four more photos. The location has changed, the first photo of the four showing a dining room scene. It's a little squished; and some chairs have clearly been pulled up from other places in order for everyone to sit at the table. The meal laid out for the group is enormous. It looks to be lunch, and there's everything from prawns, to a large turkey. Everyone seems happy, talking and laughing.

The second and third photos are both of Bucky and Sam; the second being the two playing uno, and the third Bucky dozing off on Sam's shoulder. The fourth is of the unknown girl pressing flower stickers all over Captain America's face. He's giving her an look that's equally enchanted and exasperated. ]

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

[ The first photo in the next tweet shows Cap helping the little girl decorate Tony's face as well. He's grinning, while his husband gives him a disapproving look somewhat negated by his own smile. The second picture is of Hawkeye and Widow, both smiling at the camera and holding up medium sized plush toys. Clint's is a hawk, whilst Nat holds a spider.

The final two pictures are both Captain Marvel. In the third, she's wearing a paper crown from a Christmas cracker and holding up the joke she got from it with an indignant grin. In the second, someone appears to have dressed her up as a Christmas tree; tinsel wrapped around her and ornaments hanging from her clothing. She's pointing at her hair as it lights up, as if it's the star on top. ]

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

[ The first photo of this group is of Thor, one arm wrapped around Bruce, and the other wrapped around a grumpy Loki. Valkyrie is leant on Bruce's other side wearing a lazy grin. Both brothers have paper frowns on. The second picture is of Spider-Man, Falcon, Hawkeye, Wanda, Widow, Gwenpool, Kate, and the little girl, all sitting around the television playing Mario Kart. The third picture appears to be an intense game of Monopoly between the Bucky, Cap, Tony, Pepper, and Carol.

The fourth picture is a photo of a drawing likely done by a child. It's a labeled drawing of what appears to be the Rogers-Stark family, featuring 'Me', 'Daddy', 'Papa', and 'Petey', as well as 'Aunt Nat' and 'Aunt Peppr' - with a small arrow pointing to an extra e between the p and the r. It appears the artist ran out of space on the paper after that. ]

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

this is all im gonna post at least for now. i hope everyone had a good christmas! i know i did! ❤️❤️❤️

[ A photo of Steve and Tony, napping together on the couch. The sky out the window behind them puts the picture at late evening. The young girl sits beside them, waving to the camera. She's probably smiling, although her face still isn't visible. ]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SWTCTVUBU THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE UP FOR CHRISTMAS!!! It’s mid January now.... I’m so sorry... I’ve been busy seeing family, I hope y’all understand :,(


	20. ‘In’correct Avengers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Best Son uwu✓ @radioactivity  
nothing!!!!!! we didnt do anything!!!!!!!  
⎸  
yeet✓ @PrincessofWakanda  
dont text n drive peter!

**Cindy** @overthemoon

@empathynonexistent how come you get angry at people who u aren't close to calling u MJ but tell the whole internet to call u that anyway??

**Call me MJ** @empathynonexistent

Replying to @overthemoon

Because I'm smart enough not to tell 'the whole internet' my real name?

⎸

**Cindy** @overthemoon

oh ,, fair

➖➖➖

**'In'correct Avengers** @incorrectavengers

harley: tony stark is not my dad.

also harley: hey dad-?

**Disappointment** @potato_gun

Replying to @incorrectavengers

stop spreading fake news.

⎸

**'In'correct Avengers** @incorrectavengers

this happened today,,,,

**Spheroid** @defunct

Replying to @incorrectavengers

whos harley????

⎸

**Meg** @megrater

some kid whos been bantering w ironman for like years,,, no one would ever say who he actually was so we all just gave up asking lol

➖➖➖

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

@incorrectavengers is in no way affiliated with us. He knows nothing, do not listen to him.

**'In'correct Avengers** @incorrectavengers

Replying to @TonyStark

try unfollowing me and then tweet that

**Morning Star** @devilangel12

Replying to @TonyStark

Wait does this mean that everything @incorrectavengers says is,,, true

⎸

**Caroline**🎶 @xanxibar

holy fuck!

➖➖➖

**'In'correct Avengers** @incorrectavengers

chocolate wrapper: im resealable!

hawkeye: bold of you to assume im not gonna eat all this right now.

big same tbh

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

Replying to @incorrectavengers

wait srsly?? i bought that!!! @hawkeye i do one nice thing & get u guys groceries and u eat my chocolate!

⎸

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

snooze ya lose

⎸

**Clint**✓ @hawkeye

i mean thanks for restocking our fridge sometimes gwennie pls dont stop

⎸

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

im watching u

➖➖➖

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

some 'boss babe' tried to sell her mlm to my aunt today... dude shes already a boss she doesnt need ur 'business opportunity'.

**Cleo** @queenofegypt

Replying to @radioactivity

wait,,, which aunt????

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

my bio aunt,, not the ones yall are familiar w lol... but imagine someone trying to convince aunt nat or aunt pepper to become a boss babe

⎸

**Cleo** @queenofegypt

im imagining it... its a world i would lose hope in

⎸

**Marley** @liddlespoon

HCUCIHOXY!!!! LMAO

➖➖➖

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

can u believe super heroes are humans too? n that they have feelings? n that they dont like it when ppl stalk them to try find out who their kids are?

whoa imagine that

wild

**Ned** @ChairGuy

Replying to @radioactivity

dude what happened?? are u okay?

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

im fine. some asshole found out which school mor goes to & tried to threaten dad n pops w it

⎸

**Call me MJ** @empathynonexistent

Local man can go fuck himself

⎸

**yeet**✓ @PrincessofWakanda

IS SHE OKAY

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

yeah thank fuck. shes just confused why everyones panicking rn

**Buff** @BlindMans

Replying to @radioactivity

goddd this is so tru??? like wow celebrities? are people? lol what thats shocking

**FMB** @mintyfresh

Replying to @radioactivity and @ChairGuy

Some people are so screwed up.

➖➖➖

**Lock @ SI** @LochnessNoire

I just saw Peter Stark riding an oversized Roomba towards the food court. This job will never cease to amaze me.

**Lock @ SI** @LochnessNoire

Replying to @LocknessNoire

Princess Shuri is running down the hall after him yelling at him to go faster.

⎸

**Lock @ SI** @LochnessNoire

They're being chased by the Winter Soldier. I wonder what they did.

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

nothing!!!!!! we didnt do anything!!!!!!!

⎸

**yeet**✓ @PrincessofWakanda

dont text n drive peter!

**Ashes**💥💥💥 @demolitions

Replying to @LochnessNoire

congrats on your first livetweet thread! but also WTF??! thats so chaotic

⎸

**Lock @ SI** @LochnessNoire

What's a 'livetweet'?

**Connie**🌈 @gay_rainstorm

Replying to @LochnessNoire

pls talk about your job more

⎸

**Lock @ SI** @LochnessNoire

No.

**Mercedes**🧚🏽‍♀️ @terrifiedheart

Replying to @LochnessNoire

wth,,, do they have a braincell even

➖➖➖

**It's Been Five Months!**✓ @thedeadpool

guys!!!!!! i just checked the date!!!!

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

Replying to @thedeadpool

CONGRATS WADE💕💕💕 im so proud 😭 almost halfway to a year

**Gwenpool** @bubblegumpool

Replying to @thedeadpool

ahhhh nice dude!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a MINUTE since I updated this fic! I’m real sorry, I swear I didn’t mean to leave this or DtD this long I wanna update both w rly long chapters too... I just don’t have much inspiration for anything rn... I hope y’all don’t hate me now :,( so this is just a slightly above standard length chapter.. sorry again :(


	21. He’s Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'In'correct Avengers @incorrectavengers  
quill, watching his buzzfeed unsolved ep: buzzfeed unsolved? more like buzzfeed solved, am i right?
> 
> Starlord @Quillofstars  
Replying to @incorrectavengers  
Im right

**'In'correct Avengers** @incorrectavengers

quill, watching his buzzfeed unsolved ep: buzzfeed unsolved? more like buzzfeed solved, am i right?

**Starlord**✓ @Quillofstars

Replying to @incorrectavengers

Im right

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

@ryansbergara was right

⎸

**wake me up** @funinfuneral

tbf the proven existence of aliens makes all the ‘it was aliens’ theories more plausible

**Ned** @ChairGuy

Replying to @incorrectavengers

it is so wild that i had to find out this way

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

IM SORRY DUDE

**Sandy** @sleepymcsleepface

Replying to @incorrectavengers

wAIT

HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS??? HE LITERALLY INTRODUCED HIMSELG AS PETER QUILL???? IM A TERRIBLE BOOGARA!!!!!

⎸

**Ada** @blackwidowisagoddess

As a Shaniac, can we please claim aliens now?

⎸

**Sandy** @sleepymcsleepface

you can pry aliens from my cold dead hands Adie

**Danny Long** @longtimenosee

Replying to @incorrectavengers

i fucking knew it

⎸

**Ada** @blackwidowisagoddess

I cannot believe you were right... I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WERE RIGHT!!!!!

➖➖➖

**Bi-derman**✓ @Spiderman

miss potts extended the no weapons at the table to my web shooters today. this is blatant biphobia, she’s taking away my whole identity.

**Pepper Potts**✓ @ppotts

Replying to @Spiderman

You knocked over a bowl of spaghetti whilst trying to knock over Bucky’s glass. Also, I am bi.

⎸

**Bi-derman**✓ @Spiderman

this is blatant arachnophobia, you’re taking away my whole identity.

⎸

**Bi-derman**✓ @Spiderman

also he was asking for it!!

⎸

**Pepper Potts**✓ @ppotts

I give zero shits who was asking for what. You cause damage and there are consequences.

⎸

**Bi-derman**✓ @Spiderman

ugh you sound like cap & it was just a tablecloth

⎸

**Steve Rogers-Stark**✓ @CaptainAmerica

She’s right, Spider-Man, although I’m not sure about the language she’s using.

⎸

**Bi-derman**✓ @Spiderman

i take it back pep, u sound nothing like him im sorry

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

lol

➖➖➖

**Sam**✓ @thefalcon

@jamesbbarnes fuck you.

**Bucky**✓ @jamesbbarnes

Replying to @thefalcon

Okay.

⎸

**Sam**✓ @thefalcon

ew.

⎸

**Bucky**✓ @jamesbbarnes

It was your suggestion.

**Ant Mant** @sctlang

Replying to @thefalcon and @jamesbbarnes

i can’t deal with this. first thing on my feed when i open twitter. i hate you both.

⎸

**Sam**✓ @thefalcon

block us lol.

**Artemis** @smthingisamiss

Replying to @thefalcon and @jamesbbarnes

Why must you bait us like this?

⎸

**Morganite** @morgananana

i have;;;;; ideas

⎸

**Artemis** @smthingisamiss

OMG YES!! Please lemme proofread for u again I need to read asap;;;

➖➖➖

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

i finally introduced mj to bucky and;; they get on too well;; i am scared

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

its like aunt nat all over again!!!

⎸

**Ned** @ChairGuy

dude youre doing this to yourself at this point..

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

i just want my family to know my friends... but now everyones plotting against me...

⎸

**Ned** @ChairGuy

dw you still have me!

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

do i? idk what to believe anymore :(

**Gwanda** @ggstacy

Replying to @radioactivity

Mr Barnes is lucky! I’d love to meet your friends!

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

when u visit! i will introduce you to e v e r y o n e

⎸

**Gwanda** @ggstacy

:D

➖➖➖

**Aunt Nat**✓ @BlackWidowWasTaken

@TonyStark checks Twitter more often than he checks his messages. Tony, answer your messages.

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

Replying to @BlackWidowWasTaken

ok 1, are you seriously publicly calling me out like this? thats low nat

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

and 2, ‘aunt nat’? youre really pandering to pete huh

⎸

**Aunt Nat**✓ @BlackWidowWasTaken

Answer your damn messages Tony, if you leave me on read I swear you’ll regret it.

⎸

**You Know Who I Am**✓ @TonyStark

ok! jeez!

➖➖➖

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

@PrincessofWakanda come over were bored

**Yeet**✓ @PrincessofWakanda

Replying to @radioactivity

k white boi, let ur daddy know im coming

⎸

**Best Son uwu**✓ @radioactivity

yeet!

⎸

**Yeet**✓@PrincessofWakanda

yeet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t have much to say about this chapter,, I’d advertise my Tumblr again but I’m only posting about Minecraft right now lol

**Author's Note:**

> Lmao look at that I decided to procrastinate by writing some bullshit! Social media AUs are simultaneously the best and worst things in existence! But I’m contributing anyway I guess...


End file.
